Page 100 of Find My Way Down to You

His fingers drag along the back of my hand. For a second, he looks like he doesn’t want to leave me behind. But he does.

I lean against the wall, observing.

Cary sits, crisscrossing his legs. He smiles widely. The girl pushes the bunny toward him, her face brightening after he takes it. There’s a yellow cap tied around her small head. She’s bald underneath.

I feel my chest start to crack right down the middle.

Cary lifts his hands. They begin to move in fluid motions, fingers forming letters and words. When he’s done, the girl’sface lights up and her hands move rapidly. Cary nods along. They’re speaking in sign language.

Caryknowssign language.

My lungs swell with shock.

He signs something else. From his facial expression, it looks like he’s asking her a question. The girl squeezes the duck to her chest.She nods, sadness brimming her eyes.

He gives her another smile, this one warmer, reassuring. His gaze never leaves hers as he makes the bunny hop around the floor. Tiny hands fly to her mouth as she laughs.

I fight off my own chuckle.

Soon, Cary is signing again, his eyebrows climbing his forehead. Another question, I think. She replies a little slower, her lower lip poked out. A long moment passes before he reaches out to her. There’s still slight hesitation in her pretty brown eyes.

With an exhale, she takes his hand.

Every nerve in me screams. I want to yell at him. She’s too young for this to be happening. But the second he looks at me, my voice evaporates. Dust on the wind.

“I will not be long,” Cary repeats from earlier.

He smiles at the girl. She’s pink-cheeked, even while glowing white. Slowly, he escorts her into a dark room, disappearing.

I stumble to the spot they just were. Where her stuffed animals still sit. My legs give out. I slump down the wall. Shaking, I grab the tiny duck, then pull my knees to my chest.

It’s so quiet here. So cold and empty. A house built forsadness. For grief. How can my dad stand to be in a place like this?

It’s not long before I hear footfalls. I smell the sweet earthiness of Cary. He kneels in front of me, hands resting on my knees.

I force my voice to work. “What was her name?”

“Yuri.”

“How old was she?”

“Nine.”

“How did it happen?”

He pauses. His other answers came so clinically, plainly. This time, he falters, lips almost pulled into a frown. “Brain cancer. She battled for the last three years.”

His fingers tighten on my knees.

“She loved animals. Good food. And her mom. She told me—” His voice catches. “She did not want her mom to be alone. To miss her.”

I press the duck to my chest. “What did you say to her?”

He smiles to himself. “That they will be together again.”

A numbness runs through me. From my feet to my ribs.

How does Cary know if they’ll see each other again? He’s only the ferrier. He guides souls to Aides, but Milos decides where they go after. Whether they end up in the Meadows, Elysium, or the Abyss. What happens to children like Yuri?