Page 11 of Castle of Refuge

Before Audrey walked inside, the smell that always wafted from the butcher shop washed over her, and she covered her nose and mouth with her hand the last several feet before entering her friend’s shop.

Helena was taking candles from a cloth bag and putting them in a wooden crate on a shelf. Audrey hurried over to help her. Soon they had finished.

“Did you not bring me any wildflowers today?” Helena asked.

“Forgive me! I did not think—”

“I am only making a jest. You do not need to bring me more flowers. See? The ones you brought me a few days ago are still fresh.” Helena pointed to a pitcher of water on a table nearby.

“Truly, I would have picked you some, for there are many lovely ones in the fields just now, but...” Audrey couldn’t push the news from her mind any longer.

“What is the matter?”

“My sister, Maris, is coming home.”

Helena sucked in a breath and put her hand over her mouth.

“And that is not all. My father is marrying me off to a knight, a man more than twice my age.”

Helena’s eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. “A knight? Is he wealthy?”

“He has enough, but I would not call him wealthy. I don’t want to marry a man so old.”

“How old is he?”

“He must be forty or more. I know he has a son my age.” Audrey’s stomach felt sick. But Helena looked as if she did not think it so bad.

“As long as he has a good house and servants,” Helena said, “you will not have to work hard. Besides, since he is so old, he will die long before you will and you can marry anyone you please. You shall be a wealthy widow then.”

“I suppose it will be better than living with my sister.” But speaking those words did not help.

“My only marriage prospects are the butcher’s pock-faced son and the old man who makes candles for my father—when he’s not drinking ale all day at the alewife’s house.” Helena crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. Audrey shook her head and Helena laughed.

“You have the hope of falling in love,” Audrey said. “There is always hope.”Unless you marry a man who is forced on you.

If Audrey married Sir Clement, what hope was there for her? She might one day love him, but could she hope tofall in lovewith him?

She’d always wanted to continue learning, to read as many books as she could, and since she’d taught Helena to read, lately Audrey had been imagining what it would be like to teach more girls to read. That was the whole reason she’d always hoped to marry an earl or a duke, for it was only men of such wealth and importance who had libraries full of books, as well as the power to allow their wife the freedom to do something some people would object to, like teaching girls. Was Sir Clement wealthy and powerful enough for that? She didn’t think so.

She would also admit, at least to herself, that she wanted romantic love.

Since Maris had deliberately hurt her, Audrey had become more cautious with her heart, careful what she revealed about herself and her dreams. And even though she had Helena as a friend, she longed for someone with whom she could feel completely safe, someone she could tell her deepest thoughts and feelings to. Helena was sweet, but her life was so different from Audrey’s. Helena desired children and a home away from her mother and father, who fought and yelled at each other. Audrey wanted more than children and a house. She longed for the love of a husband, a mutual kind of love that she had read about in stories and that the troubadours sang about.

Could Sir Clement give her that kind of love? It seemed very unlikely. And now that she was scarred and damaged... all her dreams seemed unlikely.

Perhaps she wanted too much.

Audrey talked with Helena for a long time, as very few people were coming into the shop that day. Helena told her all the happenings and goings-on of the people she knew, most of whom Audrey had never seen and certainly never met. And their problems were so different from Audrey’s—a whiny child, a leaking roof, the pursuit of the best-tasting stew. But she enjoyed listening to Helena speak. Her stories were entertaining, and it felt good to see the smiles on her friend’s face while she talked.

But today, the more Helena talked, the more Audrey’s mind kept flitting back to Sir Clement and Maris. Finally, even though she wished she could stay with Helena and avoid seeing SirClement, she bid her friend fare well and went back home, walking through fields and meadows from the village to Engleford Castle.

Sybil met her as soon as she came in the door.

“You must hurry and change your dress,” she said in an urgent but hushed tone. “Come, come.”

“What is it?”

“Sir Clement is here.”