Page 51 of The Breakup Artists

He looks like someone pinched him. “There’s no planet on which I’d respond to that name.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I say, still staring at him like I’ve never seen him before. I honestly never thought I’d see the day he had a crush. Even the wordcrushis too ridiculous a notion for him.

As if on cue his phone buzzes. Ella’s name flashes across his screen, and we both reach for it at the same time. He gets to it first and gives me a warning look.

This may never get old.

He unlocks his screen.

Ella

What else you got?

I look at him for explanation.

“She means for her blog,” he says. “Like a cool metaphor or a meaningful anecdote. I told her I’d help.”

I pause, giving it a think. “Oooh, what about a fun fact? You could tell her that the entire human population would fit inside Los Angeles, shoulder to shoulder, or soNational Geographicsays.”

August looks at me quizzically.

“Astrology advice is all about perspective, right?” I put on my public speaking voice. “Compacting the human race shows us how small we actually are, how limited our view is.”

“I like it,” he says and types it out to her.

Ella

Totally stealing this.

Me for the win.

Ella

And just in case... got anything on the unknown?

August

The unknown?

Ella

Yeah, like the way we fear the things we don’t know or outcomes we can’t control type of thing?

This time August doesn’t look at me. He just starts typing.

August

There’s a quote you might like. Give me a sec.

He does a fast Google search and returns to the thread.

August

Where can one find enough leather

With which to cover the entire earth?

Yet leather enough to cover the soles of the shoes