Page 28 of Mom Com

I shoot her a look like she can’t be serious. “Wilder is never in a twist. Wilder would be the single human calmly drinking his morning coffee during an alien invasion.”

Liv snorts and waves over the bartender. “Chris, please continue to make love to my cold heart by serving us two more of these drinks.” She fiddles with the tiny charm on her necklace that features a Buenaventura “B,” a beloved symbol they all sport with pride, and the nostalgia of it hits me hard, remembering how as a teen I always wished my family had a similar kind of solidarity.

“I really shouldn’t—” I start, but Liv is having none of it.

“You really actually should. You just found out your life is upside down and you have an ultimatum to move back to Haverberry. I think a barrel full might not be enough.”

Well, I can’t argue with that. “I just don’t drink much these days. I mean I have a glass of wine here and there, but being a single mom, it’s not something I normally do. Makes me a lightweight among other things.”

“And where is my favorite child tonight?” she asks.

“With his dad and then headed back to my mom’s.”

She raises a mischievous eyebrow. “So, what you’re saying is that there are not one, but two adults caring for him and this is a rare opportunity to live a little?”

The bartender trades out our empties for a second round, the glasses looking suspiciously fuller than the last.

“Well, when you put it that way...”

Liv slaps a sizable tip on the bar. “So, what’s the deal with Jake anyway?”

“Jake?” I repeat as I sip my drink.

“Still pretty hot if you ask me,” she says, and I choke on my whiskey.

“Uh, yeah, I guess. But honestly, his wishy-washy parenting is a turnoff.” And then I find myself saying something I absolutely do not mean to say. “What did you mean when you said Wilder was all twisty, by the way?”

Liv smirks, thoroughly amused, an expression she shares with her brother. “What I mean is that every time I’ve seen him since you’ve arrived, he’s acted like he’s late to a meeting, all edgy and flustered. You’d think he never saw a gorgeous woman before.”

I frown. “I really don’t think that’s the reason.”

“So, you believe your showing up here had no effect on him?”

I shrug. “Not no effect, just more one of annoyance that I invaded his beloved Haverberry.”

Liv clucks her tongue off the top of her mouth. “While I enjoy the image of Wilder as a grumpy dog defending his chew toy, I think you know that’s not true. Why on earth would he be working at your father’s bakery if you annoyed him?”

I hesitate. “To get me back for beaning him with that Cherry Coke ten years ago?”

She smiles into her glass. “You two should just bone and get it over with. You know you want to.”

And for reasons unknown to me, a laugh bursts out of me that is so violent that I start coughing. “You did not just say that,” I manage, trying to regain my composure. “That is not... you’re way off.”

“Am I though?”

“First of all, there’s Kate,” I say, not sure why I’m even justifying this with a response.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she says. “Actually, if you could somehow scare her off, that would be amazing. Thanks.”

“Uh... no,” I say, shaking my head like I could unhear this whole thing. “But I get it, she sucks.”

“Like a viper in Chanel,” she agrees. “But don’t think I didn’t notice that your reason was Kate and not that you didn’t secretly want to.”

I try to glare at her, but I’m halfway through my second cocktail and I wind up looking more like I have something in my eye. “I’m not sure if it escaped your notice, but Wilder and I hate each other.”

“Wilder does not hate you,” she says, so sure of herself that for the briefest of seconds, I waver. “If you ask me, my brother never got over you.”

I grunt. “Bullshit.”