Page 185 of Sunsplitter

“We have no proof,” Antal said. “If we accuse Avroz and lose, he’ll be livid, we’ll lose everything he’s promised us. Even if we could prove he’d done it, Avroz would be disavowed, we’d stilllose everything he’s promised us.” An impossible situation.

“So we should do nothing?” she demanded. “How many humans have died on the Season-Locked Planes, drained by aedari and burned in their homes, because ofhim?”

All viscerally true. But to confront Avroz? That had never worked.Couldnever work.

“We need his support, Fionamara. To nominate me to the council. To protect Thomaskweld.”

“What if we do it without him?”

Now, Antal glared at her, saying ridiculous things at a time like this. “How?”

“It would be another huge gamble.” Fionamara took his hands. Lowered to an earnest tone that carved his insides. “But Antal… you’re a Sunsplitter now. And a territory lord. Fuck Avroz. Put your name forward for the council without him. We don’t need a daeyari who hates humans to help us protect our people in Thomaskweld. We can do this. Together.”

“No, no, no…” This was more than nausea. Fear. Thecertainty that challenging Avroz only ever made thingsworse. “That’s not how daeyari politics work.”

“Then let’s play politics! Won’t turning in a traitor earn you even more clout?”

“It will never work. I’m nothing, compared to him. I need him.”

“… what?”

“Ihatehim, Fionamara. I hate that I need him. But he has the power I don’t. The influence I don’t. I can’t do this on my own—”

Fionamara grabbed his face again. Her touch, commanding. Her tone, evisceratingly soft. “Antal, turning Avroz in would be risky. And scary. We can agree on that. But you don’tneedhim. You aren’tnothingwithout him.”

So easy for her to say. She hadn’t endured two and a half centuries of Avroz’s derision. She wasn’t shaking at the thought of defying his father.

“I’ve never been as cunning as him,” Antal said. “As strong as him.”

“He’s a narcissist and amurderer,” Fionamara growled.

“He’s still my father.”

Merciless Void, how could he make her understand these rioting feelings? These contradictions even Antal couldn’t untangle? Loathing for his father, always warring against those days when Avroz would ruffle his hair, would praise him for remembering his daeyari history. When Antal used to be enough.

“He’s still family,” Antal whispered. “Things shouldn’t be this bad between us. They weren’t always. But no matter how hard I’ve tried, I failed to be what he wanted…”

“He’snotyour family. Ixli and Syvr? They welcomed you back, accepted you for everything you’ve become. Yme? She’sstuck in her ways, but she’s trying to learn. That’s what family does. Avroz isnot family.”

Antal winced.Not familyhit him like a blade, carving to the bone.

“Avroz… has been kinder this time…”

“He’s using you, Antal!” She gripped his collar, fingers clawing fabric rather than flesh. “And me. Every day he’s played nice, it’s just a ploy to get what he wants. He still killed Razik in front of you!”

Antal flinched. That memory of too much blood on the tile, the light leaving Razik’s eyes. Because Avroz was a monster. Because Antal had never been strong enough.

“Now, he’s put all these Planes in danger,” Fionamara said. “So when is it enough? We fought to get Thomaskweld back. We have more fighting to do, if we want to help humans beyond our territory.” Her voice cracked, a plea warring with exasperation. “All that, and you’re still too afraid to stand up to him?”

“Iknow, Fionamara.” He gripped her arms, desperate for anything to cling to. Two and a half centuries of fighting, his father chipping away at him, piece by piece. “I know I should hate everything he’s done. I know I shouldneverwant to speak to him again. But…”

His voice turned small. Because he hated this “but” the most.

“If you had any chance to fix things withyourfather,” Antal whispered, “wouldn’t you?”

“Fuck no,” she returned without hesitation.

Antal fell to startled silence.