Page 46 of I Hate You More

“Heisstaying with me for free,” Spencer said, but he didn’t know why he bothered.

“Then you should have offered to drive him out here with you,” his mom said. “Or to wait until he was available so we could all visit at once.”

“Justine, we talked about this,” his father said, a gentle warning in his voice.

“Yes, and we agreed that Spencer is too hard on his brother. Caleb’s going through a rough patch right now. He needs a helping hand, that’s all.”

It was fortunate for all three of them that Ruby appeared in the kitchen just then, both she and Max wearing clean new clothes. Max looked the same as he always did, his chubby legs protruding from a pair of red shorts that Spencer recalled seeing on both of the other boys at one point in time. Ruby had changed into a yellow sundress that buttoned all the way down her front and reached midcalf. There was nothing the least bit scandalous or revealing about it, but Spencer found himself unable to look away.

She was like the sun walking into the room—and into his life. Every time she appeared, his chest contracted and expanded in equal proportions. He didn’t understand it, but he liked it.

He liked it way more than was good for him.

“You didn’t tell me that you two started that weird duct-tape separation when you were kids,” Ruby said by way of greeting. “Although now that I think about it, I should have known. No rational adult would conceive of such a plan. Let me guess… Your side was the one with all the airplane models lined up in tidy rows?”

She allowed Max to wriggle out of her grasp and dash across the kitchen toward Julio and Xavier. As if they, too, were in on the conspiracy to make Spencer look like a hard-ass of a man who didn’t give two damns about his brother, they shared their cookies with Max without being asked.

“For shame.” His mother wiped her hands on a dishrag and turned to face him. “Don’t tell me they’re still doing that? Spencer, how could you? You’re thirty years old.”

“So is Caleb,” he couldn’t help pointing out.

“They’ve got a whole system, actually. With rules and punishments and everything.”

His mom tsked disapprovingly at this, but his dad only chuckled. “They’ve always been a deeply competitive pair,” he said. But then he ruined it by adding, “He’s doing well, though? Our Caleb? He’s…happy?”

Since this question was directed at Ruby, Spencer kept quiet and allowed her to answer it—mostly because he was as curious about the answer as his parents. A month ago, if anyone had asked him about Caleb’s well-being, he’d have answered the same way he always had: Caleb was a man who would land on his feet every single time. There were too many people willing to catch him, dozens of safety nets spread out should any of them fail. Even when life was hard for him, he refused to take things any way but easy.

Spencer wasn’t so sure about that anymore. On the surface, Caleb was fine: the same happy, carefree man he’d always been. But Spencer knew just how misleading surfaces could be. He’dalwaysknown it. No two show dogs were created equally. Identical twins could be polar opposites on the inside. A woman’s gorgeous exterior might not even hint at the beauty she carried within.

Ruby wrinkled her nose and considered the question for a good thirty seconds before answering. “I haven’t known him his whole life the way you have, so it’s difficult to say. When he’s working—when he’s training Wheezy or teaching Caesar new tricks—he seems fine. Productive. Happy, even. It’s only when…” Her voice trailed off and she glanced at Spencer, as if unsure whether she was supposed to continue.

He nodded in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

“He’s overcompensating,” she said. “That’s what it feels like to me, anyway. Like he has to prove not just to the world but to himself that he’s okay. I used to see it a lot back when I did beauty pageants. The most confident girls—the ones with the biggest, brightest smiles—were usually the ones who were one ripped seam away from a complete mental breakdown.”

The silence that fell over the kitchen caused Ruby to press a hand to her cheek and take a step backward. “Oops. That was more than you wanted to hear, wasn’t it? I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately, and—”

Spencer’s mom put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder and drove her into one of the stools set up against the breakfast bar. From the look of determination and delight on his mom’s face, he knew what was going to happen next.

“I’m going to make you an iced tea,” she said. “And then you’re going to tell me everything Caleb has been up to.”

Chapter 12

By the time Ruby was done telling Mrs. Wilson everything she knew about Caleb—in addition to a few innocent lies to pad out the tale—it had begun to grow dark outside. There was no sign of Spencer, the boys, or Wheezy, but this place was huge. They could be anywhere.

She stepped out the back door and immediately felt as though she’d been transported through time. Of all the places she’d have imagined a young, rambunctious Caleb and a young, careful Spencer growing up, a tulip farm and dog ranch an hour’s drive north of Seattle wasn’t it. They seemed like the type to have had doctors or lawyers for parents—well-to-do and well educated, living in suburban bliss. The wide, expansive sky set against the Cascades was blissful, but for entirely different reasons.

“They’ll be out in the kennel, hon,” Spencer’s mom called from the open window behind her. “There’s no getting between a boy and his puppies. Eva’s kids are big fans, too.”

Ruby couldn’t help grinning. Mrs. Wilson—Justine, she’d insisted Ruby call her—hadn’t expected something for nothing. For every bit of information Ruby had shared about Caleb, Justine had reciprocated with something about Spencer.

Fact one: He’d been the most easygoing baby in the world—never crying, never making demands, always looking out for his brother. Fact two: He hated Halloween, but it had always been Caleb’s favorite holiday, so he always made an attempt to make the biggest and most elaborate costume possible. Best of all was fact three: He used to sleepwalk out to the kennel at night and wake up in a pile of dogs. It got to be such a habit with him that they put a cot out there so he could be comfortable.

The idea of Spencer Wilson—herSpencer Wilson—being unable to prevent his inner self from cuddling with puppies in his sleep was too delicious for words.

She thanked Justine for the information and trotted down the steps toward the long, low building located a short distance from the house. She wasn’t sure what to expect as she pushed open the door. Instead of the gated sections and sterile smell she associated with most animal shelters, what she found was a cozy-looking rec room with worn couches, half-eaten beanbag chairs, and a big-screen television attached to one wall.

There was also a cot in one corner, which she assumed was Spencer’s infamous nocturnal retreat.Where the cuddling happens.