Page 29 of I Hate You More

Eva didn’t put the bottle down. Instead, she tilted it toward Ruby’s glass and poured out every last remaining dreg. “Maury is in charge of the playroom for the next thirty-three minutes. Then and only then will I cross the threshold to assess damages.” She took a long drink from her glass, her gaze never leaving Ruby’s. “If you’ve ever wondered what the secret to a successful marriage is, it’s this right here.”

“An ungodly amount of wine?”

Eva’s laugh rang out loud and clear. “I meant a clear and equitable division of labor, but sure. Ungodly wine works, too.”

Sounds of life were starting to pick up in the next room, so Ruby allowed herself to relax against her chair. She also realized what she’d have to do to get her way—and without spending a cent of either her or Mrs. Orson’s money in the bargain.

She should have been ashamed of herself for coming over here with the intention of making a devil’s bargain, but desperate times called for desperate measures. If Wheezy refused to give in to the allure of her pageant stage—which he showed every sign of doing—and if Caleb remained unable to match the exact pitch and timber of Spencer’s voice—which he also showed every sign of doing—then she wasn’t left with much choice. Mrs. Orson’s long-lost romance with Norbert demanded it.

“I’ll babysit,” Ruby said.

Eva paused in the middle of bringing the glass to her lips once again. “I’m listening.”

“One free night of babysitting.” As yet another piercing scream sounded from the next room, Ruby pushed her qualms aside and amended, “Two free nights. Of your choosing. Including holidays and special occasions.”

Eva still hadn’t moved—not even to blink. “Do you mean two separate nights, or are we talking two of them in succession? As in a weekend? Awholeweekend?”

An entire weekend of trying to keep three boys alive wasn’t what Ruby had meant, but if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was how to say what was expected of her. She stretched her brightest, pageantiest smile.

“Absolutely,” she said. “It’d be my pleasure.”

Eva thrust her hand across the table so fast that Ruby almost spilled her wine. “No takesie-backsies. Once you shake on it, it’s a done deal and there’s nothing you can do or say to reverse it.”

Ruby was startled enough by this to hesitate, but she caught sight of Eva’s expression and relented. Dealing babysitting favors might not have been her intention in coming over here, but it would have been the height of cruelty to deny the excitement on Eva’s face. She looked like a woman who hadn’t had a weekend away in, well, ever.

“Sure thing. As long as you get me what I need, I’ll give you any weekend you want—except, of course, the West Coast Canine Classic.”

“Agreed.” Eva yanked Ruby’s hand into her own and shook it. The deal thus made, Eva sighed, kicked off her shoes, and yanked out the pen that had been holding up the long, dark waves of her hair.

Ruby couldn’t help feeling wistful at how happy and comfortable Eva looked, like an old pair of jeans that fit just right. It was something she’d always envied about other women. Eva was the sort who would only get better with time, who would let the silver streaks come naturally into her hair and look amazing doing it, whose energy and bright spirits would keep her young well into her retirement years.

Ruby, on the other hand, was the pair of jeans bought for clubbing one night and regretted every day since—low-rise and far too tight, but so expensive that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away.

“I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed,” Eva said, smiling at her from across the table. A deep dimple formed in one cheek. “Is this the part where I confess that I would have done it for free?”

Ruby sat up straight in her chair. “Youwhat?”

“In fact, I’m looking downright forward to it. I’m already starting to plot all the ways I can make it happen.” She reached down and fished in her purse until she extracted a dragon-themed coloring book and a twelve-pack of jumbo crayons. Tearing out a page that had been liberally scribbled on, she pushed it across the table at Ruby. “Here. Make a list of those words for me. I want to make sure I remember them all.”

Despite the fact that she’d once again allowed a much wiser, much wilier woman to manipulate her, Ruby plucked a purple crayon from the pack and obeyed.

Her plan was a simple one, planted there by Mrs. Orson herself. Food bribes were obviously a no-go, especially since Wheezy was too smart to fall for a bait-and-switch carrot again. The stage platform had done little more than give the golden retriever a new place to nap, and nothing Caleb did to his voice made Wheezy sit up and listen.

As much as she hated to admit it, the only thing that seemed to work with any regularity was “her” Spencer. It was just as Mrs. Orson had said—there was something commanding about him, something forceful—that neither she nor Wheezy seemed able to deny. The only way Ruby was going to get anywhere was with his help, but she’d have rather died than ask for it.

Which left her with this. She needed a recording of Spencer’s voice saying everything needed to train a dog for showmanship, and Eva was just the person to get it for her. With any luck, Eva could follow him around at work long enough to get her “sit” and “stay,” “roll over” and “present.” Most of all, she needed “mayonnaise,” and as events were proving, she’d stop at nothing to get it.

She was debating whether to include a few compliments in the wish list—“good boy” or “yes, Ruby, I do think you’re a capable and highly intelligent human being”—when Eva cleared her throat.

“So,” she said, her voice and expression so transparent that Ruby’s heart sank. “Those Wilson twins are something else, aren’t they?”

As a twenty-eight-year-old single woman whose mother had been trying to marry her off to the highest bidder for years, Ruby knew exactly where this conversation was headed.

“Don’t you dare,” Ruby warned. “Caleb pees in a sink, and Spencer is doing his best to keep me and Wheezy out of his precious dog show. I’m not interested in either of them.”

Eva laughed. “If it helps, Caleb wasn’t always like this. This feud with his brother is doing weird things to him. To both of them, actually. Spencer wasn’t always like this, either.”

“Like what?” Ruby couldn’t help asking.