Page 21 of You'll Be Sorry

They took the dog to a local vet, which was nearly an hour away. They had no means of controlling the dog without a collar or leash, but it loaded into their vehicle easily enough. It did, however, balk at the vet’s front door.

“No animal likes to go to the vet,” Theo argued as they forcibly herded it in.

“When did you become an expert on Lassie?”

“I’m a man of many hidden depths,” he assured her.

“At this stage, might be better if you were a man with nine lives.”

“How do you know I’m not?”

The vet was impossibly young, Raquel thought, though that could be her bitch mode kicking in.

Dr. Ahearn poked, prodded, drew blood. The dog sat regally, if not impatiently, through the process.

End consensus, the dog, some kind of mixed breed with a clear helping of English Lab—hence the squarish head and stocky build—was in overall good health, though he could practice better oral hygiene. Also, he’d been neutered, which implied that at one time he’d either had a home or had passed through a local shelter. At the mention of castration, Theo reflexively covered his groin—bro code indeed.

“We don’t see that many unfixed canines in New England,” the vet explained as she washed up. “Cats, yes, but overall, people are responsible dog owners, which is why most of the rescue dogs around these parts are from the South. So, it would be reasonable to assume the dog belongs to someone somewhere. Unfortunately, he isn’t chipped, nor does he match any of the descriptions we have for lost dogs. I’m not sure what to tell you.”

“And you’d know about local missing dogs?” Theo prodded.

“Calling us is a logical next step for most folks, after posting on social media. Have you checked any community groups on Facebook or Insta?”

“No,” Raquel started to say.

“Yes,” Theo provided. She shot him a look. He shrugged nonchalantly, as if to imply she shouldn’t have expected anything less.

“Didn’t you say you were from Shereford?” Dr. Ahearn continued. “I believe the police chief—Grady?—also serves as the animal control officer. I would reach out to her. Around these parts, the localsknow the locals, whether two-legged or four. She might recognize this handsome dude.”

In the meantime…

Theo went collar and leash shopping in the lobby, while loading up on some high-end food that cost more than filet mignon per serving. Raquel had never seen her husband so gushing and effusive. Check that. Maybe after their first date. And now, for a stray mutt.

Didn’t that just figure.

The dog bore it all with noble grace.What a good boy,the vet cooed.What a good boy,Theo echoed.

I’m on to you, Raquel communicated back with her sternest look.

The mangy mutt merely yawned and returned its attention to Theo, the vet, the vet tech, not to mention the receptionist and anyone else who wandered into its orbit with an ear scratch and words of praise.

Never gonna get away with this, she tried to tell the pooch.

Already did, he communicated right back.

Damn dog.

By the end of one incredibly expensive morning, the dog had received a clean bill of health and promises for additional inquiries into its origins. Dr. Ahearn snapped a photo to share on socials—if there’s a waiting home out there, this’ll get it done, she assured them. But otherwise, she was more than happy to return the dog to Theo’s enthusiastic embrace. Thanks for looking out for the furry dude, and hey, have a great day.

Only two options left, Theo stated as they loaded the beast back into their Porsche.

“Take him to a shelter?”

“Don’t even speak that way in front of him. He needs a bath!” Theo continued.

“Finally, we agree!”

Ha, the dog definitely appeared a bit more concerned now.