Page 167 of Kingdom of Aramis

“Holy fuck,” Gem mutters, seeing the blood staining the white fur around Gryffin’s mouth before he makes a move to heal my mother, but I know it’s too late.

I turn away so I don’t have to watch the woman who gave birth to me die. I harden my heart and refuse to feel grief. She never deserved any of my love. I just resent the fact that I’m going to have to make Grampy and Granny sad when I tell them of her passing, but I make the decision to keep her actions to myself. They don’t need to hear what a horrible person she turned out to be.

“God, he’s never going to forgive himself,” the phoenix mutters, tearing his gaze away from my mother to look at the snarling, pacing tiger that almost looks like he wants another go.

“Don’t hold it against him, it was instinct,” he pleads, and I shake my head.

“There is nothing to forgive,” I assure him.

“Well, shit.” Vallen watches with detached interest as my mother takes her last breath. “I guess we really can’t let you escape now. Get her,” he orders his men, who move past him in a wave of force. My guys are ready, and despite the guards having weapons, not many of them get any shots off, and the ones who do come up against a protective barrier that Titus must have woven around us.

“Remember, leave a few alive,” I shout, reminding Titus as he goes on a killing spree, looking as excited as a kid in a candy shop to spill the blood of his enemies. He gives me an absent wave, which I hope is acknowledgement, as Nox and I are pushed against one of the walls and nobody is able to get past any of theothers. I consider shifting into hydra form, but there really isn’t any need. The guards don’t seem like they are well trained, and my guys easily overpower them within a few moments, killing most of them while leaving a couple knocked unconscious for us to take with us to interrogate when we leave.

The fight is over within minutes, and the ground is slippery with blood, but I don’t look in the direction of my mother’s remains.

“Do you want to take her home to bury her?” Nox whispers in my ear as the others tie up the three unconscious guards.

“No, leave her. She deserves to rot,” Liam says, shifting and dragging me into his arms. “I’m so sorry, but she is not worth your tears.” He dries the tears I didn’t realize I was shedding.

I lean into him, absorbing the warmth of his naked skin and support.

“Where did Vallen go? He had a book in his hands. I bet it’s the one we need,” Hunter growls, and Titus looks around before disappearing, probably in search of the councilor.

“Shall we go look for them?” Gem asks Micah who shrugs, shaking his head.

“Nah, the man is a paid assassin, so he should be fine. Let’s wait here. I’m sure it won’t be long.”

The guys gather around me, Gryffin and Brodie staying in their animal forms to guard our backs while the rest try to give me words of comfort and reassurance, but I’m numb. I have no emotions to give at the moment, just complete apathy toward what just happened.

It doesn’t take long before Titus reappears, scowling with disgust. “He got away. I searched the whole facility, and it’s abandoned. Even the cells are empty. They must have a very powerful fae or witch working with them to transport that many beings in such a short span of time.”

My heart sinks at the thought of all of those twisted ferals. Without the spell to fix them, they will be permanently stuck in that form. Even if they could use the spell, without me or apparently my mother, they won’t even be able to open the book.

“We found them once, we will find them again. My mother will help us,” Nox assures me, but I have my doubts.

“Titus, why don’t you transport Colbie, Nox, Gryffin, and Brodie home, and then come back for the rest of us? We will watch over the prisoners until you return,” Hunter suggests, and the assassin approaches us.

“Gem, burn Malina’s body so they don’t come back and try to use her blood on the book,” Micah says, but I don’t hear Gem’s response as Titus puts his hands on me, and we reappear in my bedroom in the palace.

“Why don’t you help Colbie clean up? I won’t be long,” Titus murmurs to Nox, who scoops me up and moves to the bathroom, the wolf and tiger trailing behind us. My eyelids drift closed. I kind of want to just block everything out for a minute and see if I can finally catch a breath. I don’t even see Titus leave again.

The next thing I notice is the sound of water running as Nox steps into the shower with me, both of us still fully clothed. Brodie is naked and starts to pull my ruined clothes off my body.

Despite not actually being in the fight, there was no shortage of blood splatter, and Nox and I are both filthy. Once I’m completely naked, my bloodstained clothes turning the water in the bottom of the shower red, Nox passes me to my wolf as he strips his own uniform off.

“I’m going to go tell everyone what happened, then I’ll bring some food back,” Gryffin says, but I don’t lift my head from Brodie’s chest.

Nox mutters some response that I miss because all I can hear is a loud keening sound. It takes me a moment to realize it’s coming from me. Brodie holds me tighter against his chestand whispers words of condolences and reassurance, but it does nothing to stem my grief—not grief because the woman who gave birth to me is dead, but grief over the fact that the one person in the world who was supposed to love me unconditionally didn’t care about me at all. My whole life has been a lie. First, there was the truth about my father, and now this.

My body shudders as I sob loudly, while Brodie and Nox work to get me clean. They wash my body and hair with gentle hands as I allow my grief to flow down the drain with everything else that has been staining me. When they finish, and we step out, I pull myself together and tuck the past into a box, burying it deep within my soul. I will not allow my mother to affect my future like she did the previous twenty-six years of my life.

I find myself dried and bundled into warm sweats before I’m carried once more, this time by Brodie, out into our living area. He places me down on the sofa in front of a roaring fire before leaving, taking Nox with him to find some clothes.

Gryffin, who has returned in the time it took for me to cleanse my body and soul, shoves a mug of hot chocolate into my hand then places a steaming plate of something that smells delicious on the coffee table in front of me, and that wakes my stomach up with a roar.

“Eat, cookie, you’ll feel better if you do, and then you can sleep.”

I give him a wane smile of thanks before taking a sip of the sweet beverage. It’s the perfect temperature and taste, and I smile at the little marshmallow hydra floating on top.