Page 33 of Laying Low

“Because we live in Bakersfield, California, and boys named Julie don’t live long on the playground.”

Reg’s chuckle caught evenhimby surprise.“Are you kidding?By the time Val came out, self-defense was the family industry.Nobodypicked on us, because we’d wipe the floor with them.”

Anthony chuckled too.“Ha.I bet you’re right.You and Chance, back-to-back?”

Reg shook his head.“No.Chance was… well, you’ve met him, right?I mean, hehadbullies, but he sort of… I don’t know.Didn’t acknowledge their existence.I mean, Dean and I were clocking his bullies behind his back, and Chance was like, ‘Oh, Ricky didn’t beat me up in gym class today.That was nice.’”Reg shook his head.“It’s like, you know that joke about the optimist and the pessimist?”

“They give the pessimist the nice toys and the birthday cake and the optimist the barn full of horseshit?”Anthony hazarded.Everybody had heard this joke.

“Yeah—and the pessimist was all depressed because the toys were all broken and the birthday cake gave him a stomachache and whine, whine, bitch, bitch, right?And the optimist was knee deep in horseshit, shoveling out the barn, screaming, ‘There’s got to be a pony somewhere!’”

Anthony said the punchline along with him, and Reg appreciated that.

“Yeah, I know that joke,” Anthony said.“What’s that got to do with—”

“Chance would find that pony and then go invite the pessimist for a ride and then go offer to fix all his toys and make him a better birthday cake, the whole time ignoring the fact that the pessimist was a complete asshole who didn’t deserve Chance’s attention.”

“Sounds like even a pessimist would warm up to Chance Royal,” Anthony said, sounding impressed.

“Yeah,” Reg said.“I mean, it would be one thing if he was spoiled and rude or mean or even took us all for granted, but school’s not easy for him, and I know he studies his ass off.And he’s grateful.He really is the best of us.”

“No,” Anthony said softly.“Not the best.He’s good—he may even be golden.But I think it’s hard to find the best of a family that’s sort of collectively the best.”

“Smooth,” Reg said, reluctantly impressed.

“Yeah, I know your weakness,” Anthony preened.And he did.Reg couldn’t duck a compliment that was aimed at his family.“You people are easy to love.Including you, Emeritus.”

Reg grunted.“That ship has sailed,” he said primly.“Let’s stick to Registrar.”

“No, no.I think your parents missed the boat.I think Emeritus would have suited you fine.”

“Not for somebody who’s making his living off a tech certificate and his family’s contacts,” Reg said dryly.

Anthony knuckled his forehead.“Reg, you built a SCIF in the family den—and then built a secret tunnel under the front yard while your parents were on vacation.I… it’s not only that you’re selling yourself short, you’redangerouslyselling yourself short.If we wake up one day and somebody has disappeared you, we need to know if it’s because you stood up for the little guy or because you accidentally dropped a dime on mobsters on the Tor, and that’s not going to happen if you’re all, ‘Oh, I’m just an IT tech with delusions of grandeur.’”

“Nobody’s going to disappear me,” Reg dismissed, but Anthony knuckled his forehead again.

“We’re going to change the subject.I’m listening to ahilariousaudiobook, and we need to visit that on the sound system.I’ll even back it up to the beginning.It’s only a few chapters.It’ll get us to—where are we going today again?”

Reg remembered Ilia and his adult reckoning of an uncertain world.“I thought I’d ask the guys,” he said.“I mean, going through Redding will get us there sooner, but the turnoff for San Francisco and the Bay Area is in an hour, and the coastal highways are really pretty.”He shrugged.“I mean, we’ve got camping equipment in the back, and the back seat clears out so we can sleep in the SUV if it’s raining.Like I said—see what the kids want to do.”

“Fair,” Anthony said.“Let’s listen to the book until it’s time to make a decision.It’ll be fine.”

One Small Thing

UNSURPRISINGLY, THEYdecided to go through San Francisco.

Neither of the boys had seen the ocean, and the way they both lit up made Anthony and Reg feel like gods.Anthony knew it was both of them because heasked, charmed by the sweet smile on Reg’s face.

“I wish we weren’t running from bad guys,” Reg said simply.“I wish I was just taking them on a trip.My nephews, Russell and Shaw, have gone camping with us since they were small.We take turns going places—Disneyland, San Diego, Tehachapi, you name it.It would be so easy to… you know, make it a bigger group.You don’t think about that all the time.”

“Maybe afterward,” Anthony told him softly, not wanting to state the obvious.Theseparticularboys wouldn’t be going back to the school.Nor would Reg’s art teacher friend.

But Reg’s bittersweet smile told Anthony nobody had to state the obvious—Reg was quite capable of knowing reality on his own.

“It’s still something to work toward,” Anthony said, with dignity.

“You’re a lot like Chance,” Reg said, patting Anthony’s shoulder in comfort.“You’ll find that pony, and then you’ll take us all for a ride.”