Page 39 of This Life of Mine

He swore it felt real. Like there was actually someone standing in his house watching him. He even claimed the guy commanded him to go back to sleep.

When he woke up, he checked every room in the house.

Nothing.

No broken windows. No unlocked doors. No signs anyone had been there.

So naturally he decided he’d been incredibly high and dreamed the whole thing.

I realize EJ was passed out on the couch from being high only hours before I got here.

I observe him across the table, sauce on my fingers, and an unsettling sensation resides in my chest.

I’ve been sleeping with someone I would never, under any other circumstance, choose to associate with.

The attraction made him tolerable in the dark. The silence made him easy. But stripped of that, under dinner lighting, with conversation filling the space, I see him clearly.

And it’s completely sobering for my libido.

Because this? This is why EJ works best in the bedroom and nowhere else.

But now…now that I know everything about him, I don’t think I can un-know it—stick to what this was supposed to be. I can’t see him the way I used to—a distraction, a fix, a purely physical indulgence. A sexual drug I could take without consequences.

Ugh. Now I have to go home and take a cold shower.

“So, babe,” he says, smirking, leaning back in his chair. “Want to finish what we started?”

Hell no, I don’t.

“Actually,” I say, faking a yawn, “I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to head home and turn in. That, and I’m full of wings.” I gesture toward the table, the half-empty takeout between us.

“Really?” he asks. “You sure you don’t want to stay over?”

“Really. I haven’t been sleeping well,” I say, already reaching for keys in my coat pocket. “And we’ve got a busy morning at work. I’m going to go home and sleep until my alarm blares me awake.” I wince. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he says easily. “At least we got free wings tonight. Solid win.”

He smiles, relaxed, unbothered, leaning back, as nothing has shifted at all. He’s definitely still high.

Ugh…damn him and his stupidly sexy abs.

He’s still beautiful. Still incredible in bed. That hasn’t changed. But something else has.

Getting to know him has stripped away the mystery that made this work in the first place. The ignorance was part of the appeal.

Now, all I can think about is how young he seems. Not in years, he’s thirty-two, but in substance. And once that thought takes hold, I can’t shake it. It makes my skin crawl in a way attraction never should.

I hug him goodbye, quick and polite, before he can pull me back in.

The night air offers relief.

I slide into my car, exhale, and start the engine. My audiobook starts right where it left off.

Suddenly, my phone lights up in the cup holder. It’s been on silent since work.

Ring Notification. Motion Detected.

My stomach tightens.