Page 98 of Let's Be Forever

“But in that moment, I hated everything I was, everything I was feeling, and then you showed up, and I couldn’t be the man you were used to seeing. I fucking hated myself,” I answer flatly, feeling that dread and shame.

Or at least I was. It fizzles as Anna stands and hugs me. I lay my head on top of hers as she rubs my back.

“You’re not weak, Sylas. You’re human. It’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay if you don’t feel like yourself somedays. I hate that he made you feel that way and that you think you couldn’t be yourself in front of me.”

“I was so embarrassed,” I say again. I never thought I’d say those words out loud, but now that I have, I feel less anxious.

“Don’t be.” She kisses my temple. “I don’t need perfect. I just need you as you are.”

I smile, exhaling a breath of relief, but it slips as I think about earlier. I almost don’t tell her, but I’m tired of holding back. So I tell her everything while she still holds me.

“He hardly ever hit me, but I think I would have preferred that over the punishments.” I heave a dry breath. “Yeah, hepushed me hard, but there was nothing like his silent treatment. Growing up with that was unbearable.”

I slip my arms around her waist and spread my thighs so she’s standing between them. I never realized how good it’d be to talk about this stuff out loud.

“You’re not weak, Sylas,” she repeats, gently raking her fingers through my hair. “Feeling the way you do doesn’t make you any less of a man. It just makes you human. But there are ways to cope and start feeling better.”

“I know…I’m going to talk to a therapist.” I had Harlow find me one. She suggested it once, but I didn’t put too much thought into it. Not until recently.

I’ve seen one before, but it was brief, and I didn’t gain anything from it.

“I’m so proud of you.” She pulls back, and a sweet smile blooms on her face. “I’m sorry about your parents.”

“It’s okay.” I mean it when I say that. Actually, I feel better than I did earlier. My chest doesn’t even feel tight anymore as I think about our interaction. I was done with them, but this just solidified that. “It’s all going to be okay.”

“Don’t forget I’m here for you,” she says in a warning tone.

“Same goes for you, Little Miss I Don’t Like Asking For Help.”

She rolls her eyes playfully. “I’m working on it, okay?”

My cheek twitches. “So you’re not going to fight me when I try to help you?”

She pauses, humming. “But I like fighting with you.”

I smirk at the insinuation in her voice. “Promise me you’ll let me know.”

“When I need it, I will. I promise.”

I glower. “Stubborn.”

“Arrogant,” she shoots back.

“Smart-ass,” I counter.

“Pompous asshole.” She grins.

“We’re going to be okay.” I stand, towering over her. I cup her jaw, leaning down.

“We are.” She seals the space between our lips.

“Now let’s finish trying these cakes. The brown butter one is calling my name.”

40

ANNA

We’re justabout ready to close when the front doorbell chimes. Em is in the back with me about to head to the front when I look through the window.