Page 95 of Let's Be Forever

Think of Rosie and Anna. Breathe in and out. You can’t go to jail. Despite thinking that, I can’t stop the words that leave my mouth. “Am I weak, or are you just pathetic? And you don’t love me, you hate me. Stay the fuck away from us.”

“Sylas,” Mom pleads, her voice filled with urgency. “You have to understand. A kid was going to ruin your life.”

“No. You two did that.” I scoff a laugh. “And she’s not just a kid; she’s your granddaughter. Actually, it’s best if we don’t call her that. She’s nothing to you, like I’m nothing to you.”

I go to walk away, knowing if I don’t, I’ll actually hit him, but he grabs my wrist, yanking me back. From the corner of my eye, I catch his fisted hand.

“What are you going to do? Hit me? Come on, do it,” I taunt him and when he doesn’t, I jerk my hand away. “I’m not twenty-one anymore. Fuck you.”

My knuckles stay suspended in the air, an inch away from Anna’s bedroom door. Every time I think about knocking, I remember my conversation with my parents.

I want nothing more than to see her, but I’m not in the right headspace to talk to her. I don’t know what I’m still doing here.

I’m turning just as the door swings open.

“Leaving already?” she says in a quiet voice as she shuts it behind her.

I plaster a smile on my face and pivot to look at her, but once our eyes lock, she sees right through it. Any trace of playfulness is gone.

“What’s wrong?” She’s standing in front me, inspecting my face and body.

My first instinct is to lie to her. I don’t want her to worry, or make my burdens her problem. She’s already dealt with enough.

The lie sits at the tip of my tongue, but as I take her in and note the concern etched on her face, I know I need to be honest. I want to protect her, but I don’t want to lose her again.

“I saw my parents.” My temples throb as I think about what they said. They’ve never been good parents, but knowing they have no remorse, knowing they’d do it again if it meant I wouldn’t be with Anna, makes me feel sick.

She lays her palm on top of my fisted hand. It’s so small compared to mine, but it makes me feel safe and calms the chaos in my head.

“I know you’re tired and you probably want to go to bed, so if you want to say no, I’ll understand.” She rubs the pad of her thumb over my hand. “But I want to take you somewhere.”

Her proximity soothes me, relieving the ache in my chest and dulling the pounding in my head. “I’ll go anywhere with you.”

39

SYLAS

“I need my test rat,”Anna sings, setting a plate with an assortment of miniature cakes and two water bottles on the worktable.

Fuck, I missed her calling me that.

We’re in the back room of her bakery. The Sirens, my favorite band, plays softly in the background.

She didn’t tell me what we’d be doing here, but I have a pretty good idea now. And I’ve never been more grateful. Being inside the condo made me feel like I was suffocating, and I knew if I stepped onto the terrace, I’d pick up a cigarette.

I don’t feel guilty anymore after talking to Anna, but I don’t want to depend on them.

“What’s all this for?” My mouth waters at the sight.

She drags a wooden stool next to mine and takes a seat, handing me a spoon. But she’s not close enough, so I grab the legs and scoot her closer to me, until her arm brushes against mine.

Anna grins at the lack of space between us. “A couple came in the other day to order a cake for their wedding. They know exactly what they want for the design but can’t decide on aflavor. They have so many favorites, but don’t want the flavors clashing since it’s a small cake. They love these flavors equally but can’t decide, so they asked me to pick.”

I eye the six small cakes, licking my lips. “What happens if they change their mind or don’t like what you picked?”

She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “They’ve ordered from me before, so I know they’ll be happy with whatever we choose.”

“We? You want me to help you decide?”