Page 77 of Let's Be Forever

I rub my warm hand on the back of my hot neck. “Yeah, it was dirty and made me realize I’m sexually frustrated. I haven’t been with anyone since Sylas, and having him around again is a lot. And then he says things and looks at me and…fuck. It makes me want him, but I can’t, I shouldn’t.”

“So this is just a suggestion, but why not sleep with him?” she muses, as if it were that simple. “And hear me out before you cuss me out.” She lifts a finger when I narrow my eyes at her. “You obviously still miss the sex if you’re having dreams about him.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Dumb it down for me then. I don’t understand.”

“You know he wants me back, but I don’t want him back.”

A Cheshire grin stretches wide across her face. “Do you not ever get tired of living in delusion, of lying to yourself? Because I hear the bullshit that comes out of your mouth and I’m exhausted.”

I lift my middle finger. “Ha ha, so funny.”

She kisses my finger, but I swat her off. “You’re hard to read sometimes, but when you talk about that man, it’s clear as day. I know it’s complicated between the two of you, but you’re living with him, so why not make the best of it? Set some rules, and when you move out, end things.”

I laugh as I think back to when we were in college. “It’s not going to work. We tried the whole fake-dating thing once. That’s actually what landed me in this predicament.”

“Well, it’s either you fuck Sylas or you find someone else.”

The bell chimes out front, and when I look through the window, I find a man waving at me, flashing me a friendly smile.

“It’s your favorite customer.” She snorts as she grabs the box and heads to the counter.

Jackson has been coming to Everything Everything since we opened. He’s in every few weeks, and each time, he asks me out.

There’s nothing wrong with him. In fact, he checks off most of the green flags. He’s employed, is not married or in any kind of relationship (Clementine confirmed this), he’s attractive, charming, and has even managed to make me laugh.

I could have said yes—there’s nothing wrong with him—but after my last failed attempt to put myself out there, I’ve had no interest.

“Sweets.” Em pokes her head in, grinning mischievously. “Jackson wants to talk to you. You want me to tell him you’re busy?” she whispers.

I almost say no, then decide against it. “No, I’m coming.”

We switch positions, and I take her place behind the counter.

“Anna, hey.” Jackson stands tall, holding the bag of pastries he bought and gently patting the box. “Thanks for the cake.”

“What’s the special occasion?” I know there’s one because it’s a three-day cake process.

“Mom’s birthday,” he answers happily.

“Oh, tell her I said happy birthday. Do you want me to write something on it?”

“No, it’s okay, she likes it like this.” He glances at the front door and back at me. “I won’t hold you up. I know you’re busy running the bakery. I just wanted to see if you by chance weren’t busy next week? Say Saturday…after you finish?”

I’ve told Sylas to move on, but I haven’t. I need this. If I don’t try, I know I’ll never move on.

“I’m actually not busy. What do you have planned?”

32

ANNA

“Wow,”Maya says under her breath. “You look hot.”

My heels click against the wood floors when I spin to face her. She ambles into my room and sits on the edge of my bed next to Rosie, who’s got her dog and some old makeup brushes I don’t use anymore.

I smile, staring down at the dark plum satin dress I’m wearing. Originally, I wasn’t going to wear this, but Em and Jenny said they’d both fight me if I wore anything else. I’m glad I listened because I look and feel good.