Page 69 of Let's Be Forever

Maya goes quiet, but Rosie happily gasps. Jumping to her feet, she bolts to me. I crouch down, spreading my arms, ready to catch her.

I still don’t know what I’m doing as a father. I’d like to ask mine for advice, but he’s the reason I didn’t know about Rosie. He probably wouldn’t give me any anyway, and even if he did, it wouldn’t be good. That man wouldn’t know how to explain what a father is if a gun was pointed at his head.

He may have been somewhat present in my life, but our relationship was more transactional. If I did well in hockey, I could have whatever I wanted, no matter the cost. But if I didn’t meet his expectations at practice or lost a game, then I’d be damned.

“Hola querida.” I hug her, still crouched on the floor.

“Hola, Sy.” She giggles, and I squeeze her a little but not too hard.

I know it’s too soon, but I’d love to tell her to call me dad. I don’t correct her though because I don’t know how Anna would feel about it, and I don’t want to upset her.

“Que hases?”I ask, setting her down as she squirms and pushes against me, letting me know she’s done being held.

“Playing with doggy,” she explains, then runs back to her spot, her giddiness contagious.

I stand to my full height, smiling at her as she turns on the dog I bought for her.

“Hey,” I greet Maya, uncertain of what else to say. “I can take over now, if you’d like.”

Her brows knit, and she stares at me like she doesn’t trust me. “You’ve never been alone with her. Anna won’t be home for another two hours. I’ll stay with Rosie.”

“I was alone with her once when Anna needed a nap and she ended up sleeping for three hours.”

We played with her toys, listened to music, and I gave her a snack. I’d be lying if I said I was a hundred percent confident. The entire time, I was worried about messing up, worried she’dget hurt on my watch or swallow something. So I kept my eyes on her vigilantly and made sure her snacks were bite-sized.

“Really?” she quizzes as she stands, the sectional between us. “Anna let you do that?”

“Yeah.” I glance down at Rosie and back at her.

“Look—” We speak in unison and apologize. And again, but then we let the silence settle. I’m certain, like me, she’s trying to figure out what to say.

“I’m sorry.” I slice through the silence. “I’m sorry about a few years ago. About coming between you and Anna, about?—”

“No.” She clears her throat, her features tensing with discomfort as she crosses her arms against her chest. “You didn’t come between Anna and me. That was on me. I…I…” She heaves a sharp breath. “It wasn’t your fault, so don’t apologize to me. It’s not me whose forgiveness you need to work at.”

My chest grows tight and I nod. “I know.”

“She deserves the world, and if that’s not something you can give her, let her go.”

I can give it to her. I will give it to her. “I’m not letting her go, not again,” I tell Maya.

“Then fix what you broke,” she states, piercing me with a severe look. “She’s still reeling from the breakup. So if you want her back, if you love her, fucking fix it or let her go. She’s doing really well, and she was before us. So don’t mess this up for her or Rosie.”

I’m speechless. I didn’t expect that. If anything, I assumed she’d cuss me out. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she did.

“I’m working on it.” I tuck my hands in my pockets, feeling a little anxious. Fuck, I need a cigarette, but then I look at Rosie and decide against it. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” She doesn’t appear as tense, shoulders easing into a relaxed state.

“Do you think she’d give me another chance?”

I didn’t want to ask, but I’m desperate to know what she thinks. After all, she’s Anna’s sister.

“You can’t make her do something she doesn’t want to do,” she answers, not missing a beat. “I think you know her well enough that Anna does whatever she wants.”

I smile at that but arch a brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

“She’s living here, isn’t she?” She exhales a quiet chuckle. “Do what you will with that information.”