Page 49 of Let's Be Forever

It hurts, but the pain will be worse if I try to hold on to something that isn’t there anymore.

“I need to head off.” I go to stand, but he sits up on his knees and grabs my wrist.

“Anna, I fucking miss you.” Anguish mars his face, and his voice is heavy with longing.

“Don’t say that to me.” I let out a shaky exhale, wanting nothing more than to look away, but struggling to commit.

“It’s true. I won’t lie to you.” He tugs me closer, and I stupidly let him.

“But then again you only tell me what you think I need to hear.”

He looks dumbstruck. “That’s not true.”

“It is.” I find the last bit of strength and pull back, tugging my wrist away. “You didn’t let me in before, and you won’t now. I’m not going to force you, and I won’t beg either. Not again. I care about you, I always will, but I won’t break. I can’t. Rosie doesn’t need that. I’m going to leave now, and you won’t stop me. Please.” My voice cracks and I hate myself for it.

I was really trying to be strong.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” I know he means it, but I also know he wants to draw me back in. And as painful as it is to admit, I want that too, but he concedes. “Can I have your number?”

“It’s the same one. I never changed it, just in case…but if you forgot it, I’ll give it to you.”

I know what he means.

“No, I remember it too.”

With one last look and the memory of him on his knees burning in my brain, I walk away, knowing if I don’t, I’ll hate myself more than I already do.

21

SYLAS

“I hadto hear and see it come out of your mouth.” Berlin St. Clair strides out of the elevator and into my living room, stopping in his tracks when he spots Everett Frost, Rowan Jovanovíc, and Marc sitting on my sectional. “So it’s true. You all wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. Or am I being punked? I swear to?—”

“It’s true.” I speak over him because if I don’t, he’ll never stop talking. “I have a daughter with Anna.”

The guys weren’t supposed to be here, at least that wasn’t the plan. With Frost being in California, Rowan in Seattle, and Berlin in Florida, finding the time to hang out is a little hard. But despite the miles between us, we’re still close, and our group chat is very much alive and thriving.

Well, as alive as we can keep it. Rowan isn’t any more active than he was when we were in college, but he makes an effort occasionally. And he definitely made the effort to catch a flight like the other two when I told them I have a kid.

After Anna left last night, I stayed on the floor contemplating my life and fighting against grabbing a cigarette, but I caved. I smoked while I shared the news with the guys. Eventually the media will find out, so I wanted them to hear it from me.

I knew they were shocked, but I hadn’t anticipated for them all to come over. Marc showed up first, but when Frost exited my elevator, I knew it wouldn’t be long before the other two showed up.

Their already large eyes grow wider, and they sit still, staring at me unblinking like statues.

“Holy shit!” Frost is the first to break the silence. “With Anna? Anna Lopez? The one you broke up with?”

“Fuck you,” I spit out, getting increasingly aggravated. “Don’t make me kick you out.”

He shrugs impassively. “For stating something that happened?”

“Stop being a dick,” Marc chastises, crossing his arms over his chest. “He’s already suffering from the consequences or at least half of them. No one but us, Harlow, and Thea know. So you know shit’s going to hit the fan when others start finding out.”

“Your parents don’t know?” Rowan asks.

I inhale sharply, knowing I’m going to need it before I explain the shit show my life has become. When I’m done telling them everything, I don’t feel any better than I did yesterday. If anything, I’m angrier.

Harlow and Thea were right when they said that I shouldn’t confront them yet. There’s no way I’d be able to control myself. I’m certain I’d hit my father and go off on my mother.