Page 41 of Let's Be Forever

“Since I just moved, I don’t have much, but I have the sectional and dining table,” he answers, as if he heard my thoughts. “And it works out that I haven’t bought anything else yet.”

“Why is that?” I follow him as he rounds the huge dark brown sectional.

It’s massive—I’m certain it fits more than ten people. The fabric feels as if it were made out of cashmere, and sitting on it makes me feel like I’m perched on a cloud.

Maya would love this. She hasn’t complained any more, but I know she hates my couch. I don’t blame her. Now that I’m sitting on this, I don’t know how I’ll be able to accept anything else.

He drops down a little closer than I’d like, but he’s still far enough away that we’re not touching. “I’ll be able to pick out whatever Rosie likes. Make it kid friendly. I just want to make her comfortable. That is, whenever you’re ready for her to come over.”

“Oh.” For whatever reason, that makes the backs of my eyes sting. I blink a few times, forcing the burning sensation to stop. “You don’t have to change or add too much. She won’t care as long as she has a few toys. Maybe not even that. Sometimes she’s happier playing with the most random stuff and will hyperfixate on them too.”

Sylas smiles and those dimples appear. “Like?”

The genuine curiosity in his voice makes my heart flutter. I hate that. I need it to stop.

“One time it was Tupperware, then it was rocks. God, the rock phase didn’t last long, but it was annoying. She’d bring them in, and she didn’t just want to play with them, she wanted to bathe and eat and sleep with them. Before I knew it I was stepping on rocks everywhere. Thankfully that’s over.”

He snuffs a chuckle. “What’s her obsession now?”

“She actually hasn’t picked up on anything yet, but I’m sure she will soon.”

We look at each other for a long moment, and I see it, the flood of emotions that wells in his eyes.

“I missed out on so much.” He sighs. “There’s so much I want to know, so much I want to ask, but I guess we should beginwith what my parents did. I’m really sorry about that, Anna. If I would have known…”

I rub my palms against my thighs. He tracks the movement, and from the corner of my eye, I catch his hand reaching out, but then he draws it back in.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. It never was.”

“I know, but I ended things, and I?—”

“You breaking up with me doesn’t make what happened your fault, but I guess it did work out in their favor.” I smile sadly at him.

Before the breakup, we were great—far from perfect, but our relationship was strong and steady. A few months after we started dating, he got called up to the NHL and moved to Colorado where he had been drafted.

We may have had many miles between us, but we were still doing great.

I stayed back because I wanted to graduate. Despite how much I really wanted to be with him, he knew my plans weren’t going to change because we were together. He respected them and encouraged me to pursue my dreams. And I did. Before graduating, I applied to a few culinary schools in the US, but Sylas pushed for me to apply outside of it. I did and that’s how I ended up going to École Ducasse, a French culinary school.

Well, before starting there, I went to Gastronomicom, an international culinary school so I could to learn French first.

I was hesitant because I didn’t have the money, and while I managed to get a scholarship, it hardly covered anything. Until Sylas said he’d pay for it. I refused initially, but after some back-and-forth, he convinced me.

I’d been in France for two years, and we had been together for four at that point, when it all went to shit.

The March before we broke up, he flew me to come see him play. It was toward the end of regular season, as theywere getting ready for the playoffs. And then in May, the injury happened.

His shoulder dislocated a few times after it did the first time his freshman year in college. There was a player from the opposing team, Jenner Strand, who’s known for playing rough, but that night, he was worse than he’d ever been. He was playing dirty—everyone knew it—but the refs didn’t react until it was too late. Jenner charged at him with possibly everything he had, knocking Sylas hard against the board. His helmet not only came off, causing him to hit his head hard, but he also dislocated his shoulder.

It was so severe they had to get a stretcher. I found out later through Thea that he was concussed and would need to have surgery, and that maybe his career was over.

I didn’t hesitate to get on a plane and come see him. I just didn’t realize I’d be flying back single.

“I didn’t find out I was pregnant until June.” I’m flooded with memories of when and how I found out. My heart clenches and my stomach dips, but I ignore the ache and continue. “I had no symptoms until then. I thought I was late because of the stress from the breakup, but then smells started bothering me. I felt nauseous and was throwing up. My—” I cut myself off.You don’t need to bring that up.“I was having all these symptoms. I thought that all happened in the first trimester, but my midwife says it’s different for everyone.”

“Your what?” His brow furrows, and he sounds curious but hesitant. Like he’s not sure if he should have asked, but I can tell he really wants to know.

“My nipples were really sensitive,” I answer nonchalantly.They’re nipples. So what if he knows?