Page 28 of Let's Be Forever

I feel the intensity of his stare bore into the side of my face. I chant not to cave, not to turn, not to do anything, but despite what my brain is screaming, my heart pathetically blocks all rational signals. I turn and my heart, the stupid bitch that she is, pitifully begs to reach out to hold him.

But I don’t. I remind myself of all the horrible things I went through. Remember how many times I cried, how many times I stressed over money, stressed over my lack of sleep, stressed over whether I was a good mom, stressed and stressed some more. That’s enough to slap me back to reality, remind me that he wasn’t there, and even though he’s here now, we are over. I don’t know what happened and how he didn’t know about Rosie, but he broke up with me. He said the words. He willingly ended things.

“I called. I texted you. I made a stupid fake Instagram account. I did everything to reach out. I tried, Sylas. I tried.” My lungs expand against my rib cage but don’t deflate as easily. “I tried.”

The pressure in my sockets explodes. The tears I was trying hard to hold back break loose and roll down my cheeks.

He lifts a hand as if on instinct, but I back away, refusing to let him touch me again. Wiping them off, I rub the water on my dirty apron and look away.

His hand remains suspended in the air for a few seconds before I hear it slap down on his thigh. “Please don’t cry, Anna, please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I’m fine.” I hiccup. “I just want you to know I tried. I wanted you to know. I really did…” My voice trails off as something hits me. “If you didn’t know before, how come you know now?”

“You saidweso many times yesterday.” Sylas tells me how Marc went over, and they ended up looking up Clementine because I still had him blocked. “She’s beautiful.”

“Are you saying that because she looks like you?”

He chuckles and the deep, rumbling sound does things to me. I try to fight it off, and although my lips twitch a smidge, I don’t dare let myself smile.

“Partly.”

I side-eye him and regret doing so because he smiles. His dimples appear, and I curse myself for thinking how much I missed them. “You’ve never been known for being humble. Don’t start now.”

He chuckles again and my ears ache to hear it once more. But then it fades and I feel him stiffen next to me. “I swear I didn’t know. I wish I had.” Devastation punctures every word, wrapping around my throat like a noose, choking me. “I wish I would’ve known—” His voice cracks and even though he clears his throat, it sounds deeper, agonized. “I would’ve been there. Ipromise you I would have. I’m sorry I wasn’t. I’m sorry I missed being there for her. For you. I’m sorry.”

Another tear rolls down my cheek, but I quickly wipe it away. “You blocked me.”

“Youblocked me.”

I jerk back, my eyes narrowing into slits as I face him. “Because you told me to leave you alone. You or whoever it was, told me so many…so many things. I wasn’t going to fight you. Not when you or-or whoever”—I correct myself again—“told me I’d suffer the consequences if I didn’t and your parents?—”

Sylas recoils, eyes wide and alert. “What about them?”

“They told me to stay away. Told me you didn’t want anything to do with me. Threatened to take her away.” There was so much more, but that’s the gist of it. “There was a lot of threatening on their end, on your behalf.”

A muscle in his stubbled jaw works, and I hear his teeth grate against each other. I wince at the sound. He shakes his head, tongue dragging over his top teeth, nostrils flaring. His expression is grim, and waves of rage roll over him. I fist my hands at my sides, unnerved and overwhelmed. He doesn’t scare me. I’ve seen him angry on the ice, but outside of it, never like this.

“They didn’t tell me anything.Ididn’t tell you anything.” He exhales a harsh breath, tipping his head back as if he’s trying to rein in his self-control. “I would never do that to you. I would’ve been there to help you.”

“Those messages came from your number,” I add before lifting my knees to my chest and circling my arms around my shins.

“I didn’t have my phone. I—” He abruptly stops talking, gaze casting down to my black-and-white-tiled floor and staying there. “I checked out. I wasn’t—after the injury…the breakup…Iwasn’t…” He swallows hard, the noise of it reverberating around the shop. “I wasn’t okay.”

“Oh.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “So then who had your phone?”

“My agent…”

I drop my forehead to my knees, feeling nauseous.

“Hey, talk to me.” I feel his palm suspend over my back, and the heat of it seeps into my body. I’d tell him to move it, but I don’t have the strength to speak or do anything but control my labored breathing. “Anna, hey, talk to me. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to stress or be upset. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. Please.” I sniffle, my breathing turning shaky. “I’m thinking. I need a moment. Just one. So shut up.”

And he does. He doesn’t speak. He lets the silence percolate around us. All I hear is the sound of my beating heart that feels like it’s stuck in my throat, the soft hum of the refrigerator in the back, and the sound of cars driving in the distance. The moonlight bleeds through the large window, illuminating the dimly lit space. We’d turned off a few of the lights since we were closing up, and I’m grateful for it because my head won’t stop spinning.

All this time he didn’t know. All this time I thought he did. I spentyearsresenting him for it, and now realize all that time spent holding a grudge was pointless.

Puffing out a breath, I lift my head and meet his doleful stare.