Page 35 of Merci

She released silent tears as she nodded. “I was just trying to keep the peace for y’all sake. I know I come from nothing, and I wanted y’all to at least have his family.”

“We don’t need them,” Cujo said. “We got each other. Fuck ’em.”

“Fuck ’em, disrespectfully at that,” I replied, making her laugh as she wiped her eyes.

“Well, if y’all are okay with that, I’m okay with that too. I feel like I haven’t been able to really find peace in him being gone, because I’ve been tied to them. They treat us like outcasts anyway. As y’all say, fuck ’em.”

Her laughter was the only thing that calmed me down enough to make me smile.

If they knew what was best for them, they’d stay the hell away from my folks and me. With how I was feeling, I was liable to release hell now that Merci was gone.

Cujo and I sat around for a few more hours before leaving. He tried to get inside my head and heart to talk about Merci, but I wasn’t in the mood. He wasn’t on noI told you soshit, but still. I was missing my baby like crazy, and the less I had to talk about her, the better. This shit was on me. Had I just stayed away, none of this would have happened. I knew the risks when I pursued her, but I also knew she was worth it. Now, all I could do was cherish the moments we had and the love we shared and hope that would be enough.

21

MERCI

Even with my father basically keeping me prisoner in his home, I still wasn’t talking to him. A week had passed, and I didn’t talk to anyone who knocked on my door. While I didn’t blame either of my parents for what happened, I was heartbroken, and I wanted my man. I hated that because of something that happened almost thirty years ago, we couldn’t be together.

Before I met Hammer, I thought it was sweet that my daddy had laid bodies down to protect my mother. Now, I was kind of jealous and resented them because they had each other, and because of their past, I couldn’t have Hammer. I knew that wasn’t fair to them, so I kept my distance from everyone to avoid taking my hurt out on them as anger. I also knew that eventually we’d get back to our normal relationship, but until that happened, I just wanted to be left alone.

It appeared my luck had run out because today, Daddy knocked and told me that he wanted to talk to me and Ariel. Instead of telling him that I wasn’t ready to talk, I agreed. I met them outside and pulled my legs up under me on the couch, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Hey,” he spoke softly with a warm smile.

“Hey, Daddy,” I muttered.

“You still mad at me?”

Sighing, I shook my head as my eyes rolled. “No. I know you’re only doing what’s best for us. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. And it hurts.”

“I can accept and respect that, my baby. It hurts me to know that my actions have hurt you. I really am sorry.”

My eyes watered, but I clenched my jaw to avoid releasing any tears. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s not like you knew Hammer and I would meet and fall in love one day. Because regardless of what y’all say, we are in love. I understand why you’d think he wants revenge, but I know him, and I know that’s simply not true.”

“Okay,” he replied softer than I expected. “If you believe that, I’m not going to argue with you. As your father, it’s my job to protect you. I appreciate you staying here for the past week. New locks are on your doors, along with a new security system. I know you don’t want me to put guards on you, and I will honor that under one condition.”

“What’s that?” I asked, looking over at Ariel.

“You two have to continue to not see Cujo or Hammer. You will have to let us track your locations at all times on your phones and cars. Once I believe enough time has passed for me to be able to sit down with them, if we can commit to peace, you can return to living your lives normally. If I feel like they can’t be trusted…”

“I know you don’t believe me, Daddy, but they really don’t mean us any harm. Tell him, Ariel.”

She avoided my eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know, Merci. Knowing he killed their father makes things different. How can you be so sure?”

Scoffing, I sat up in my seat. “They had months to do something to us if they wanted to. The first night we met, theycould have kidnapped us and made Daddy come. Hammer has had ample opportunities to put a gun to my head and drag me here. They aren’t putting together some grand scheme. He genuinely doesn’t want to hurt you, Daddy. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

“I just can’t see any man being okay with what I did, Merci. I’m sorry.”

“If you took the time to get to know him, you’d understand why.” Pausing, I considered if I wanted to tell him about the abuse. Hell, at this point, I knew there was a chance he’d say Hammer was lying to me. Still, I decided to be honest. “Gatlin abused them. All three of them. It scarred them for life. Figuratively and literally. Hammer’s back is covered with scars. He almost killed him. Hammer lost so much blood that day he needed a transfusion. I understand it seems impossible to believe he doesn’t want to avenge his father’s death, but Gatlin wasn’t shit. You actually did them a favor when you killed him. You freed them. If you gave him a chance, he’d tell you that.”

Daddy considered my words before saying, “I hear you, and I’m sorry to hear that. I want to say that changes things, but because Hammer knew the truth and didn’t come to me from the beginning, I can’t trust him. I can’t trust his intentions. Now, if you agree to my terms, you can go back home today. Otherwise, you’ll have to stay here.”

“Fine,” I agreed quickly, wanting to get the hell out this house.

“I know you’re upset with me, my baby, but you need to be upset with your man. Had he come to me like a man before he pursued you, this could have been avoided. Y’all know I don’t play about my family. I’ll kill that entire bloodline before I let either of them hurt you. Do not go against me for them. If you really love him like you say you do, stay the fuck away from him.”

He stood and kissed my temple before walking away.