Page 34 of Merci

“Then they aren’t overreacting. You need to stay away from him, Merci. I killed his father. There’s no way he’s not using you to get to me.”

My shoulders slouched as I stared at him with tears in my eyes. “Because it’s so impossible for a man to love me?”

His head tilted as he relaxed his frame. “Don’t do that, my baby. Youknowthat’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean, Daddy?” I asked louder than I’d planned to.

“What’s going on?” Ma asked, rounding the corner.

“Apparently, Hammer can’t love me or want to be with me. Apparently, he’s just using me to get to Daddy.”

“Why do you think that?” she asked Daddy.

“Because Gatlin is his father.”

Recollection covered her face before she nodded. “I see. That’s why he looked familiar to me the day I saw him.”

“You saw him? When was this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Now that the heat was slightly off me, I tried to walk away again, but Daddy grabbed my hand.

“You’re not seeing him again, Merci. I don’t care if I have to lock you in this house and move you out of yours. I willneverlet you be with my enemy’s son, whether I killed him or not. Hammer will want revenge. Even if he told you he doesn’t. I can promise you the moment he sees me, he’s going to want that for his father. Do you really want to chance that?”

“Of course not,” I whispered as my tears fell.

“Then promise you’ll let us handle this and that you’ll stay away from him.”

That was a promise I didn’t want to make. I was firm on keeping my word. But how could I be with a man knowing my father killed his?

20

HAMMER

My jaw was tight as I listened to my grandmother apologize profusely. Her words were going in one ear and out of the other. I was already feeling some type of way toward my father’s side of the family because the truth had come out, and I hadn’t heard from Merci in a week. To make matters worse, my mama put together a party for my pops’ birthday, and none of his people showed up. It was literally just her, Cujo, Terry and his mama, and me. If no one else came, I expected Grandma to come, but even she hadn’t showed up. When I called to curse all they asses out, she told me Gordon Senior and Junior convinced her not to come.

I waited until my aunt and cousin left to call her, and the crazy thing was, my auntie was married into the family. That was probably why her and Terry didn’t act dumb as fuck like the rest of their asses. If it was up to her husband, they probably wouldn’t fuck with us either. He’d died a decade ago, though, and Auntie was still rocking with us, which I appreciated.

Scratching my eye, I released a shaky breath. “Grandma,” I said, and she was so busy explaining why she didn’t come that she didn’t even hear me. “Grandma,” I repeated, louder that time, and she shut up. “I don’t understand why them telling youabout my relationship with Merci would keep you from coming, especially after you told my mama that you’d be here.”

“GD told us that girl’s daddy killed yours,” she said, referring to my cousin.

“And? What that got to do with you coming to this party my mama put together for your son?”

“I’m not comfortable with that, baby. I’m sorry if your mama went to an extreme to do the party but?—”

When I laughed, she went silent because she knew that was a sign that my anger was increasing.

“First of all, regardless of who killed my father, that has nothing to do with what’s going on today. If you were so uncomfortable with my relationship with her, all you had to do was tell me, and I would have told you that she and I aren’t even together anymore. She’s not here. But you know who is here? My mama. With red, puffy eyes because she went out of her way to cook all this food and put a party together to honor your son.

“She didn’t do this for her or for us, because that nigga spent his life making ours hell. She did this because, regardless of how poorly y’all have treated us, she wanted y’all to be able to honor his memory. And y’all didn’t even have the decency to show up? You know if you would have come, the rest of them would have, so for you to let the Gordons get in your head… that’s truly fucked up, Grandma.

“I done let y’all disrespect my mama and play in her face for years now, but this is it. It’s clear y’all ain’t really fucked with us since he died, and I’ma protect her going forward. He dead, and as far as I’m concerned, our relationship can be too. Y’all done already cost me the love of my life. Y’all ain’t gon’ continue to hurt and disrespect my mama too.”

She started trying to say some shit, but I just ended the call. They all knew he was beating our asses until we got bigger and strong enough to fight him back, and they never spoke up or didanything about it. They let him terrorize us, and when we finally got relief through his death, they still treated us like shit because we got out the streets instead of continuing to work for them. I thought at least I’d always have my granny, but truthfully, she had enough say and power in the family to bring all the tension to an end. Instead, she chose to sit around and condone their bad behavior. As far as I was concerned, that made her just as guilty as them.

I paced around outside and smoked a blunt until I was calm enough to talk to my mama without yelling. She was in the kitchen, putting the big-ass German chocolate cake she’d made in small containers. That only pissed me off more.

“They don’t fuck with us, and you need to accept that and stop trying to be cool with them,” I said, and Cujo instantly nodded his agreement before eating more of his mac and cheese. “They ain’t gon’ have a chance to hurt your feelings and make you cry again. It’s hard enough on you, celebrating the memory of the man that dogged you for decades and abused you like that shit was his favorite sport. This the last year you do that to try and appease his family again. Leave his folks the fuck alone, Ma, or I’ma kill ’em. They done cost me too fucking much. Leave ’em alone.”