Page 31 of Merci

My head shook as my eyes watered. “If we have an expiration date, why are we even together now?”

When his expression hardened, I had to look away. “You saying you want us to be over?”

“I’m not saying that’s what I want, but if you can’t tell me your truth, I can’t be with you anymore. I think it’ll be better if we end things while we’re on good terms. Before something or someone ruins things for us.”

Hammer released a quiet chuckle before he sighed. “They already have.”

I stood, and he did the same. Hammer walked toward me, and I fought not to release my tears. Was I capable of letting him go? Of course. But I for damn sure didn’t want to. His arms wrapped around my neck, and he hugged me to his chest—tightly. My eyes squeezed shut as I continued to fight back my tears.

“I’ma come back for you,” he declared as my tears finally started to fall.

“You promise?”

His breath came out shaky before he kissed all over my face, saving my lips for last. “I promise.”

Sniffling, I nodded as I clung to him. “You’re making me break my promise. I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Trust me, I don’t want to.”

“Then why won’t you just tell me the truth!” I yelled, pushing him away from me. “Come on, Hammer. It can’t be that bad. Can it?” When he didn’t answer, I realized maybe itwasthat bad. So as hard as it was, I wiped my face, gritted my teeth, and walked away.

September

“Don’t be mad at me,” Ariel said sweetly, and I knew by her tone that she was on some bullshit.

My eyes rolled and she sniggled, which only irritated me more. Truthfully, a lot had been irritating me for the past month; that was why I’d been staying to myself. I let her convince me to get out the house and go bowling, and now I was regretting it.

The only reason I agreed was because I felt bad about declining spending time with Alia and Innah. If I kept declining invitations, they’d start popping up at my house. Hammer and I hadn’t spoken since I called things off, and even with life going on, I missed that man like crazy. This was the first time in my life where it wasn’t easy to detach from a man. I knew I loved him, but I didn’t know how hard it would be to live without the man I loved.

“What did you do, Ariel?”

“Well… Cujo and I were talking about how Hammer’s all sad, and you’re all sad, so we thought it would be a good idea to get the two of you together.”

“Ariel!” I whined, heart racing. “I can’t see that man. It’s hard enough going no contact. If I see him, I’m going to break.”

“And what would be so bad about that? Fuck his family. What y’all had was real, and that’s a silly reason to let it go.”

“I wish I could agree, but until I know who he is, I can’t be with him.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, sis. They just walked in.”

“Oh God,” I groaned, hopping from my seat. “I have to go.”

“No, you’re going to stay,” Ariel insisted. “And you’re going to act normal and enjoy your night. Just like I enjoyed myself when you tried to get me out of my funk, you’re going to do the same.”

“Me and my bright ideas. Taking you out that night is the reason I’m in this mess to begin with.”

Her sniggling made me smile, even though I didn’t want to. “That doesn’t sound like a thank you for positioning you to meet the love of your life, but I’ll take it. You can thank me by naming y’all first baby after me.”

“Ariel,pleaseshut up,” I said through my laugh as my eyes locked with Hammer’s.

He looked just as good, if not better than he did before. That tall, wide, milk-chocolate frame. Those tattoos. Those lazy eyes. Those juicy lips. And when he smiled… that gold grill.Jesus. There was no way I’d be able to deny this man in his presence. Hell, I didn’t even want to.

When he and Cujo were done paying and getting their shoes, they made their way over to our lane.

“Wassup, sis?” Cujo spoke, dropping a kiss to my cheek.

“Hey, Jojo.”