Page 54 of Stay Dangerous

I let myself bask in it. I let myself feel all of the feelings that had taken root and grown over the years I’d known him.

I let myself think about what it meant to be his girlfriend. If we’d go to prom and homecoming together. If we’d apply to the same schools. He and Fredo did everything together, but we’d also grown our own friendship over the years, and I would have been happy having him tag along, too.

Violence surrounded them, but I knew all we had to do was survive high school, and get out of here in one piece. In a couple years, we could leave the city. We could do it, I just knew it.

We could do anything as long as we were together.

His Future

Rico, age 16

Havingagirlfriendfeltlike an out of body experience sometimes.

Wynter Snow was nothing like anything I'd ever experienced.

Most of the time, females were simple. They wanted to fuck and feed me. Sometimes, I’d break them off a couple dollars, but nothing serious. Fucking with me was always enough, or being seen around the hood at one of the many kickbacks that were always being thrown.

Off top, that wasn’t possible with Snow. I was dead serious when I said I wanted her nowhere near the Birch, so most of the time, we would be in her room. I thought that shit would get old fast, but it never did. We always found something to do, something to talk about, a song to listen to.

She challenged me in ways no one else bothered to. For so long, Fredo was our mouthpiece. It had gotten to a point that muthafuckas didn’t even bother to talk to me anymore. Any pertinent messages were passed through Fredo.

I couldn’t do that with Snow, with mygirlfriend.Snow was always patient with it, but I had to speak to her. I had to open that door for her, and she barged in like the boss she was.

I found that I didn’t mind it.

I found someone other than my brother that I liked to talk to, that listened and even understood me.

It had been almost a year after the night we shot up that Treetop party when I realized I loved her.

It wasn’t no grand moment. It wasn’t even one of the few times I could take her on a date deep in West Kenton, where gang shit didn't matter. We weren’t arguing, and we weren't messing around.

She was outlining her fucking World History essay on Mansa Musa. Drake was singing to us, low since it was well into the night on a Tuesday. Her door was locked in case her parents came home, but by then they were knee deep in addiction; her mama copped from one of the homies closer to downtown, and her pops owed the Italians close to six figures.

Autumn stayed in her room or next door, so we were almost never disturbed. I had her all to myself that night, but instead of doing grown shit, we were doing homework. I had my US History textbook sprawled out in front of me, working on questions that I knew would be on the quiz the next day. Snow was on me about skipping, telling me she wouldn't have a stupid boyfriend, so for every one day I missed, I had to go twice in a row; just enough for Nan not to be called.

After the third question, I sighed, and looked up at her, sitting crosslegged on the bed. She had on some shirt from an obscure designer I couldn't remember, but loved since they only made baby tees, and some boy shorts. Snow hated that she ain’t have no titties and ass, but I never gave a fuck about that.

Her best curve was her smile, anyway.

I’d just paid for her to get a fresh weave, but she threw that shit into a messy ponytail at the top of her head. I was pissed the day before, since I seen it was a different color than her usual red, but she swore she didn't dye her hair. She “did a rinse,” whatever the fuck that meant, but now, her hair was more bronze than copper. It made her look different, fasho, but I loved her hair color the way it was.

That thought crossed my mind, then other shit I loved about Snow started popping up. The way she closed her eyes when she heard a song she liked. How she didn't make a big fuss about looking out for Autumn, giving Turk’s granddad money to make sure she stayed in dance or to get new clothes or to have a phone.

How she and Fredo had their own friendship outside of me. Most bitches who wanted to be around me would be nice to him, but I knew it was fake. They ain’t fuck with him foreal, especially when they realized the feeling was mutual, which led to bullshit rumors he made me, Ty-Ty, and Peanut not address.

But I should have known shit would be different with Snow since that time we met at the mall. They had their own bond that deepened while Snow was my girlfriend. They texted constantly, and rarely about me.

We were our own person with Snow. She’d never gotten it wrong when Fredo would braid his hair to trick her.

She always saw me.

But she never left my brother out, either.

“What did I tell you about staring, Richard?” she asked without looking up.

“Who dat, Snow?” I asked, my smile growing.

“My creepy boyfriend who’s going to have to repeat the eleventh grade if he doesn’t get back to his work. Unless this is all some elaborate plan to stay behind so we can graduate together, then by all means, continue staring atmoi.”