Page 43 of Stay Dangerous

She was still perfect to me.

“I can’t apologize for the shit I said to you, Snow, because that’s the type of nigga I am.” I turned my head, facing her door, unable to look her in those cocoa brown eyes of hers. “I may not be pimping hoes, but I gangbang. I sell drugs. I’ve killed niggas before. And Kisha may not be my girlfriend, but I’ve fucked herbefore. I’m living the life of a nigga twice my age, and been doing it since, like, the sixth grade. I’m into shit I want you nowhere near. Pooh has been telling Fredo and me since damn near birth, to steer clear of females, and I never got it foreal, not until I started hanging with you.”

“It sounds like we’re not gonna hang anymore,” she replied in a hoarse whisper.

“It’s not exactly a good idea, Snow. I just told you why.”

Her fingers slipped through mine, twining themselves until our palms touched. Her other hand cupped the back of mine, like she knew her touch was the only thing keeping me from being completely numb.

If only she knew how my night went. If only she knew just how fucked up I really was, how good I was at compartmentalizing any and everything except her. She’d be calling the police on me immediately.

Or maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she was the type of good girl that saw the good in everyone. That had something that called to niggas like me. I knew I should have left her alone. Between Ma, this upcoming war, and the bitches I ain’t even mentioned, I’ma be stretched thin.

“I don’t care about that stuff.”

“One day you will. Or worse, one day I’ma hurt you. And you think I won’t, but I will, Snow.”

“Rico,” she sighed, squeezing my hand. “Can you… can you keep a secret?”

“Snow–”

“My parents are gone. They left us. No one knows, not even Auty. My mom left forty-thousand dollars that day we all hung out at that mansion.”

I popped up instantly, glaring down at her. “What the fuck, Snow? That was months ago.”

Seeing her blink back tears made me regret snapping, so I lay back down, facing her.

“I know,” she whispered. “My dad thinks my nana is out here watching us, but she’s been in the hospital. I’ve been making it work, but I don’t know how long this can go on without someone catching on. Both their phones are disconnected now. So, I know you think you’re this, like, evil gangmember project kid. But you’re also, like, my best friend. And I can’t… we have to keep hanging out. You just can’t kiss me if you’re kissing other girls.”

“You the only girl I’ve ever kissed, Snow,” I blurted, chuckling when her face screwed up.

“Yeah, right.”

“On Baby. You seen that bitch kiss me on the cheek, and eventhatwas a party foul.”

Snow sniffled as she shook her head, and wiped her face on her pillow.

“Nah but, I think you need to tell someone, Snow. Turkey’s grandfather, maybe.Someone.”

“Turkey’s dang near raising himself, too. And with the money I have, I don’t wanna tell his sisters. I’m handling it. Auty is in dance and has a weekend job to keep herself busy. And my parents were never around anyway, so it’s not like anyone is asking where they are. They’ll turn up.”

“But what if they don’t, Snow? Maybe…” I trailed off. Was I really going to suggest them come stay with us? Like Ma’s blood wasn’t still plastered all over her wall?

Hearing her woes almost made me forget mine that fast. Made me forget why I even came this way in the first place. My shit didn’t matter, not when it came to hers.

More and more I understood Pooh. How could I be numb to my own life going to shit, to go back into the fire to save Snow? Her problems were more simple, sure, but I couldn’t even save Ma.

I didn’t want to chance it a second time.

“I’ll start coming by, like once a week. Make sure shit is straight. Y’all got an alarm system right?”

“Dad had a gun, but their room is locked.”

“Nah, hell no,” I gritted. “I’ma get a deadbolt and some window locks, and then you sleep with your phone by you. I can make it here in ten minutes, so if some shit pop off, you lock yourself in the room with your sister and call me, and wait shit out. Aight?”

Snow showed most of her metal mouth in a blinding smile as she nodded. “I forgot how bossy you were.”

“Whatever, man.”