Page 21 of Stay Dangerous

“Snow?” Ugh, I sounded like an idiot. It was just, no one had ever just called me Snow. Wynter Snow, yeah. But not just Snow.

“So can I?”

I heard Brianna yell out my name, so my feet began to move toward the exit. “Yeah, sure. I, uh, live next door to Turkey in Raleigh Park.”

“Fasho. I’ll be there at nine.”

I turned away and jogged to Porscha’s mom’s car. On the outside, I probably looked bored.

On the inside, I was reeling.

Something about having red hair and freckles makes you kinda popular. It’s always been like that, not even counting the whole weird obsession coming from my parents.

In every school, every class, I never wanted for “friends.” Girls clamored to sit next to me, share their snacks, and I was never it during freeze tag. Then, as we got older, and boys began to have crushes, the girls stayed around because the boys flocked, in all their stinky, sticky wonder.

Middle school was a battleground for all of this. It didn’t help that Mom bought me things from stores that I’m sure kids didn’t shop at. Make no mistake, I was queen bee at Roosevelt Junior High School.

And the biggest reason why was that I was untouchable. In fact, in middle school, boys abhorrently disgusted me.

People were having sex all the time. I knew girls who smoked cigarettes in the bathroom, got fucked behind the PE locker room after school, all types of shit. Shit that I felt like everyone was doing out of curiosity and the need to seem cooler than the rest.

In a way, Auty’s rejection of me saved me in middle school. She was the only person I wanted to seem cool to, and I knew the shit my friends were doing wouldn’t move the needle in my favor.

However, that day, hours before the first boy who made my tummy feel funny was set to “pull up” on me, I was out of my league.

I didn’t even know how old he was. How old was he to be able to “pull up” on me? Could he drive? Did he have a car?

Why did I even say yes? I talked to his brother the whole time. Would he be there too?

Locking myself in my room, I put my favorite CD into my CD player, turned up the volume on my headphones, and vibed out.

New and old R&B regulated my nervous system enough that I melted into my bed. Though a new experience, Luney would be okay. He knew Turkey, and Casey, and Tyree, so he couldn’t be all that bad, even with the green laces in his chucks, and the mischief in his eyes.

Maybe he’d be better than “not all that bad.” Maybe he was older, old enough to take me away from this fucking place so that I could really breathe. Maybe God had listened to me, but instead of killing Mom, I got another lifeline.

A bump loud enough to be heard over my music had me pausing the CD and leaving the safety of my room to check it out.

My dad stood near the door, surrounded by broken glass. My mom stood at the end of the hallway, heaving like she’d run a marathon.

Dad was never home at this point. At first, he’d take me to underground casinos with him, but when he started staying for hours and days at a time, he began to leave me at home.

Needless to say, during that whole summer, I probably saw him twice.

“What’s going on?” I drawled.

Dad’s face softened when he glanced at me. “Daddy’s gotta go away for a while, and you and your sister are going to stay with your Nana.”

“BullSHIT, Aaron! You’re not taking my baby away from me!” Mom thundered.

“Do you hear yourself?! Amani, we havetwodaughters! TWO!” Dad turned to me and grabbed both of my hands.

“Your mother and I have a lot of stuff to deal with. I talked to Nana, and she said she’d take you and Autumn while we go to rehab.”

“I said, you’re not TAKING HER!”

Mom stomped past us into her room, slamming the door.

“You’re serious?” I whispered, searching Dad’s eyes for any lies.