Page 13 of Stay Dangerous

I plopped down on the couch as she poured a shot of whiskey for me.

“I’m sorry for hitting you, Summer,” she said. “I just need you to understand it’s us against the world.”

“It’s okay, Mom,” I muttered. It was no use correcting my name. That would earn another slap, and by the look in her eyes and the shake in her hands, she was barely holding on.

“You know I love you, right, pretty girl?” She handed me a double shot filled to the rim, so full the brown liquid slipped over the sides and coated my fingertips when I took it from her.

I took it to the head immediately. I wouldn’t get juice or even water to wash it down. No. No daughter of Amani Shaw would punk out like that.

The taste was nasty on my tongue as my throat burned. I coughed it down, flinching when her heavy hand smacked my back.

“You’re getting better! That’s my girl!” she cackled as I gathered my bearings.

I never got eased in with wine coolers or wine or even sneaking a mixed drink. No.

On my ninth birthday, Mom pulled me into the kitchen, and we took two shots of whiskey together.

It was our bonding time, she said.

“I’m going to take a nap,” I coughed, getting up before she could rope me into another. It was still early in the day, and I didn’t want to be so drunk that I couldn’t call Porscha to sleep over at her house after she got out of Saturday School.

Mom snatched me down to her level and gave me a wet kiss on the corner of my mouth. As soon as she released me, I ran to my new room.

Up until the week before, Auty and I shared a room, and this had been storage. My dad must have did good at the casino, because I came home from school one day with an all new room done up. It was nice, but I didn’t need it.

I wanted to share with Auty.

But after hearing how she really felt, I was glad I didn’t have to see her, or anyone else, really. I locked my door behind me, and slid to the floor, like how Casey was sitting.

The tears didn’t come. My nose didn’t even run. I just retreated back into my head, where the music lived. Where Summer still lived. Where Auty loved me and our parents didn’t exist.

My thumbs tapped my knees to the beat in my head, and I lost myself.

Top Five

Rico, age 14

“Y’allgettingoutthisweekend, huh?” Peanut asked.

We were sitting on the bleachers. One of the few times Ma wanted to leave the crib, this nigga got fresh with her. Fredo and I beat the brakes off him right there at the mall.

Of course Pooh pulled strings and years away turned into two months in the camps, and even got us in the same one. First day, we saw Peanut, and our original plan to wreak havoc was changed to laying low.

No one would ever come before Fred, but Peanut was a very close second. Our teachers always sat us next to each other since I didn’t talk and he talked too much, and we just clicked. We were always down for whatever scheme he cooked up that day, whether we were fighting or picking who was it in tag.

Pooh and Ma were sad as fuck when his mama died and he never came back to school. When Fredo said he saw him in the camps a year later, he had to talk me out of getting into some shit just to see him, too.

Now, here we were, and even though we were on lockdown, the past two months had been fire.

“Yup,” Fredo answered for us. “Someone gotta make sure yo crazy ass cousin is straight.”

Peanut pulled a corner of his mouth up. “On baby, that nigga got some screws loose. He got niggas in here shivering. I’ma come fuck wit’ y’all when I get out of here.”

“Man, hell naw. You get hemmed up again and you gone for three years. Ain’t worth it.”

Peanut sighed and rubbed his palms up and down his buzz cut. He didn’t talk much about his home situation, but it had to be something if he kept doing shit to get sent back here. Peanut was loud, and had hands, but he could buckle down when need be. He hadn’t been in one fight since we’d been here.

“I’ma figure it out. I’m out right before my birthday, then they talking about putting me in Storm Academy in some bullshit program.”