Page 69 of To Have & To Hold

The only question that remained was whether or not she deserved to be loved by him at all.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Nathaniel leaned his head against the back of the carriage, his eyes gently landing on the woman across from him instead of the familiar countryside rolling by the window.

They were nearly home.

They had stayed with Adeline a day longer than expected, and though he enjoyed the time spent with his sister, he was more than eager to return home.

Now, after two days of traveling, they were only moments away from getting a glimpse of Rosemore Hall. Nathaniel was certain the peaks of the roof could already be seen over the crest of the rolling hills, but he could not tear his eyes from his wife long enough to notice.

Emilia and Charlotte laughed and conversed easily, as they had the entire journey. They hadn’t spoken much since he received Fawley’s letter; he had also instructed the man to cease his investigations. He still had so many questions burning on his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask them for fear that pulling on the threads he uncovered might cause Emilia to unravel completely.

He also had not kissed her since that morning on the Thames, though not from a lack of wanting to. Every moment he resisted the urge to pull her into his arms he found himself depending on a strength he was unaware he possessed. Even now, his fingers ached to reach across the carriage and tuck a loose curl behind her ear.

Love and trust could not be coaxed into existence by persistent questioning or lavish affections. If Emilia was to love him—if that extraordinary possibility was ever to be—it must be because she chose to, not because he pressured her.

For her, he would wait as long as necessary.

Outside the window, the hills began to melt away and the familiar stone walls rose from beyond the treeline. Charlotte bounced in her seat, pressing both palms against the window.

“Oh, we’re nearly there!”

Emilia’s face lit up as she leaned forward, trying to see over Charlotte’s bobbing black curls. As the carriage rounded one final bend, the honey-colored stone of Rosemore Hall emergedbetween the newly budding branches of the surrounding forest.

Charlotte clapped her hands, pressing her face even closer to the glass. Emilia sat back in her seat, a soft smile on her lips as she glanced across the carriage at Nathaniel.

“We are home?” She asked softly.

“Yes, my dear,” Nathaniel replied. His gaze lingered on her for just a heartbeat before lifting to glance out the window.

“We are home.”

∞∞∞

Emilia’s eyes widened as she turned another corner, every inch of her new home was even more impressive than the last. White marble floors sparkled in the pale afternoon light, while rich wood paneling, and deep jewel toned draperies lent an inviting warmth Emilia had not expected from an estate so imposing and grand—Rosemore Hall was as beautiful of a contradiction as its master.

Beyond the walls, the estate stretched farther than Emilia could see. Orchards, forests and farmlands dotted the horizon, broken up only by the rolling hills and winding streams and rivers sparkling in the distance.

Rosemore Hall’s gardens were just beginning to spring to life after the long winter, but it was easy to imagine the breathtaking splendor they would soon become.

“It will look entirely different in another month or so.” Nathaniel’s low and steady voice came from behind her. “By May, the roses along the south terrace will have climbed nearly to the second story.”

Emilia spun to face him. “Truly?” She asked, her voice filled with anticipation. “I have always dreamed of reading on a sunny terrace surrounded by roses.”

Nathaniel’s smile was brighter and warmer than the sun streaming through the windows.

“I know that must seem like a very foolish dream,” Emilia laughed nervously.

Nathaniel’s brow furrowed. “I do not think it is foolish.”

Emilia observed him intently, unable to shake the feeling that there was something he was withholding. His entire body seemed to be held in place by some unseen force, his hands twitched as though they wanted to reach out for hers but were unable to cross the space between them.

“I wish to know every one of your dreams, Emilia,” he whispered.

Emilia swallowed the lump in her throat. Her guilt wrapped itself tightly around her chest, squeezing until she could barely breathe. Nathaniel opened his mouth to respond, but Emilia interjected before he could speak.

“I would like to see the library, if it is not too much trouble.”