Page 66 of To Have & To Hold

Emilia’s breath hitched, those beautiful eyes wide with surprise. Nathaniel smiled at the knowledge that he was nowhere near the end of his praises.

“Your hair…” His hand rose slowly, tucking another loose tendril behind her ear. “…is unlike anything I have ever beheld. When the light touches it, it is as if you are set aglow. You have forever ruined sunrises for me, because nothing will ever compare to your radiance.”

Her eyes fluttered shut as a slight blush crept up her cheeks.

“The way you hold yourself when you walk into a room is mesmerizing" he murmured, his voice dropping even lower, “A simple tilt of your head, and I am left wondering how a man is expected to maintain any sense at all while in your presence.”

Emilia laughed, her breath coming in a quick, uneven rhythm as tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.

“And when you laugh…” Nathaniel smiled. “It is almost cruel. For it makes me wish, quite desperately, that I would always be the cause of it.”

His hand lifted again, brushing gently over her cheek. “The freckles upon your skin are like the lightest dusting of sugar, and I…” He stopped himself, searching her eyes for any sign that he was venturing too far, but he found none. “I find myself wondering if they would be just as sweet.”

Her lips trembled slightly, and he gently cradled her chin in his hand, his thumb brushing against the corner of her mouth.

“Your lips test every ounce of my patience,” he confessed, no longer having the strength or the desire to hold anything back. “I have been desperately waiting for the day you allow me to kiss them.”

Nathaniel leaned in closer, lifting both of his hands to gently cradle her face.

“You are beautiful, Emilia,” he whispered. “I am completely enraptured by you. My greatest regret is having not told you sooner.”

Emilia slowly raised her shaking hands to cover his, which were still drawing tiny circles across her cheeks. She leaned forward until their foreheads touched, and he could feel her soft puffs of breath against his lips.

She moved slightly, and he felt the feather-light brush of her mouth on his, and his heart stopped. He dropped his hands, pulling back, a small flutter of panic rising in his chest.

“Emilia,” he breathed. “This was not an attempt to convince you to kiss me. I truly meant every word.”

He searched her eyes for any sign that he had pushed her beyond her own desires, but she only smiled, the yearning in her eyes nearly matching his own.

“I know,” she said, her eyes still glistening. “That is why I want to kiss you.”

She leaned in once more, and this time Nathaniel did not hesitate. He wrapped both arms around her waist, pulling herto him with a ferocity he hadn’t realized he possessed for her until that moment.

She melted into his embrace, folding into him like the missing piece of him he thought would be lost forever. Every caress of her lips against his filled the hollow space within his heart with a fire so bright that it melted away every broken part.

His hands slowly slid up her back, pushing her even closer to him before traveling to her hair, letting his fingers get lost in the locks that were already falling from their pins. Emilia’s hands moved to his face, tracing the lines of his jaw. Nathaniel broke from her only long enough to fill his lungs with air before capturing her lips again.

Was this what it felt like to drown?

Nathaniel had always believed that safety lay in distance and never straying to far beyond his depths. Somehow he had allowed himself to be completely drawn in by her, and now he could no longer see the shore that he had once so proudly claimed as his refuge. Yet somehow, the unknown with Emilia felt safer than the carefully planned out life he had lived before her.

Perhaps he had been wrong—perhaps the greatest strength was not found in resistance. Maybe the danger had never been in being pulled under, but in facing every unknown depth alone.

Chapter Twenty-One

Emilia could not stop smiling. She pressed a cool hand to her cheek as she walked down the hall, though it did little to settle the warmth that settled there. Memories from the early morning continued to flood her mind, long after the sun had risen to burn away the misty air. Even after Emilia had climbed back under the covers of her bed, her dreams replayed every moment again and again.

No one had ever looked at her the way Nathaniel had in those moments—as though it was the last time he would ever look at her and he was trying to commit every detail to memory.

Her fingers drifted over her lips. She could still feel the lingering warmth of Nathaniel’s kiss. The way his arms hadpulled her close, and the buzzing against her skin with each sweet sentiment whispered in her ear.

He hadn’t made any declarations. Emilia herself could not even identify what she felt—but she could not imagine that love could be any stronger than the ache threatening to break free from her chest at the very thought of him.

Every person Emilia ever dared to trust had left her feeling just a little smaller and slightly worn. She had been quite certain that falling in love would be the quickest way to ensure heartbreak—yet the thought of giving her heart to Nathaniel seemed no more dangerous than placing her hand in his as they walked along the Thames.

“Good Afternoon, Your Grace.” Briggs appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Emilia looked up with a start, realizing she was simply standing in the middle of the hall.

“Good Afternoon, Briggs,” she replied with a smile.