Page 64 of To Have & To Hold

Nathaniel looked up from the oars to find that Emilia was no longer watching the river, and her eyes found his. He slowed his strokes until the skiff drifted upon the current, the only sound was the gentle lapping of water against its hull.

“During my first season, my uncle arranged a courtship with a young gentleman,” she said, her hands twisting together in her lap.

“He was lovely at first, until I realized that his interests did not lie with me, but rather a business arrangement with my uncle. He started to become cruel, but my uncle was determined to see the match through.” She lowered her gaze to the water below.

“The night you found me in the Thames, I found someone willing to smuggle me onto a ship leaving England.” Each word she spoke tumbled out quickly, one on top of another.

“As I was descending the river steps, I saw your boat through the fog. I moved too fast and fell into the water. The other man fled when you jumped in after me.”

Nathaniel could do nothing but stare at her. She had been trying to escape the life in which she had been held captive, andhe had delivered her back to it. Every time he stepped in to rescue this woman he ended up trapping her even more.

“I am so sorry, Emilia, I thought I was saving you.”

“You have saved me from far more than you realize.”

Nathaniel rested the oars along the sides of the boat, letting the current take them wherever it wished.

“What happened to the gentleman who was courting you?” He asked.

She drew in a quick breath, and for a moment he thought she wasn’t going to answer.

“Shortly after, he and my uncle had a falling out and he disappeared. I have not seen or heard from him since.”

Nathaniel nodded. Questions still plagued his mind, mainly if Lord Moorfield had anything to do with the young man’s disappearance, but there was no question more important than the woman sitting in front of him now.

He reached across the small space between them, lightly grasping her hands. Her skin was cool from the morning air.

“Thank you, Emilia,” he said softly.

“For what?” She tilted her head and he noticed a single stray tear on her cheek.

“For trusting me,” he replied. “I realize it is not something you give freely, and I promise I will spend the rest of my life proving myself worthy of it.”

Emilia’s breath quickened, and Nathaniel’s heart gripped in fear that he had revealed too much too soon.

“Would you like to row?” He asked quickly, attempting to distract her from the heaviness that had descended on them like the morning fog. She smiled shyly and nodded.

Nathaniel wrapped his fingers lightly around her wrist and slowly pulled her closer. “Come here.”

Emilia turned around before slowly lifting herself to join him on the bench. He shifted back until there was enough room for her to sit as well. Her shoulders brushed against his chest as she settled in. He was acutely aware of the lack of space that separated them. The warmth of her seeped through his shirtsleeves, and the fresh scent of roses mixed with the salty river air.

Nathaniel reached forward, grasping the oars again and laying them across their laps.

“First, place your hands on the oars,” he said quietly, aware of how close his voice was to her ear.

Emilia slowly held out her hands. He took her right hand first, turning it until her palm faced down. His fingers settled lightly around hers as he guided them onto the smooth wooden handle.

“Hold it firmly,” he instructed. “But not so tightly that your hand becomes stiff.”

She loosened her grip, and Nathaniel bit back a smile. “Perfect.”

He helped her adjust her grip on the other oar. His thumb lightly brushed the inside of her wrist as he positioned her fingers, and he felt the quick flutter of her pulse.

“Are you comfortable?” He asked, fighting to regain control of his own racing heart.

“Yes.” She nodded.

Nathaniel covered both of her hands completely with his, enclosing them against the oars. “If I am moving quickly, please tell me.”