Page 60 of To Have & To Hold

Emilia shook her head as she held back her own smile. “I was overwhelmed and emotional, and I said things I did not truly mean.”

“What things?” Nathaniel asked. There was no challenge in his voice, only sincerity. The searching look had returned to his eye and Emilia shifted slightly under the weight of it.

“I do not believe myself incapable of carrying the responsibilities my station requires. I am quite determined to be a good duchess, and a good wife.”

“I know,” the duke nodded. “I have no concerns.”

Emilia’s heat quickened at the confidence of his words. Nathaniel pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her.

“What is this?” Emilia asked as she glanced over the written words.

“It is a list of everything you will need to know, and the responsibilities you will be taking over once we return to Rosemore Hall,” Nathaniel replied. “We are leaving in three days.”

Emilia looked up at him in surprise. “We are going to Derbyshire?”

Nathaniel nodded, “Yes.”

“Are you not needed here in London?” Emilia asked.

Though she could recall only a handful of occasions when her uncle had attended the House of Lords—Lord Moorfield resided in London for the social advantages it afforded him, not the obligations attached to his title—Nathaniel seemed to regard his seat in Parliament as a sacred responsibility. It was difficult to fathom that he would be so willing to abandon the Season before it had scarcely begun.

“I have more than fulfilled my duty,” Nathaniel reassured her. “I can travel back and forth if needed, but I am sure they will manage just fine without me.”

“Is this because of what happened at the Langley ball?” Despite his constant reassurances, Emilia could not shake the nagging thought. Perhaps he simply wished to whisk her away to the countryside before she could embarrass him further.

Nathaniel sighed deeply, “No.” His answer was firm, but his expression remained gentle. “If you truly want to learn how to be duchess, you need to be at Rosemore Hall. You need to learn your home, meet the tenants, and become a part of the village.”

Emilia nodded, letting his words take root in her heart as she willed herself to believe them.

“Every spring, there is a festival in the village that the Duke of Kenswick has always sponsored.” Nathaniel continued. “I am usually not there to participate, but Charlotte looks forward to it every year. I thought perhaps you would enjoy attending as well.”

Emilia could not hide the smile that broke forth from her lips. Before she stepped into the room, the realities of being a duchess had felt like an impossible burden resting upon her shoulders. For years, every responsibility that was placed before her had come with scrutiny attached to it—as though she were always expected to prove herself, while simultaneously being expected to fail.

Nathaniel spoke as though he already believed in her. It was a curious thing to have someone look at her exactly the way she had always hoped to be seen.

“I am tired of London,” the duke admitted. “And if we want a chance at a real marriage, we would benefit from being far away from this town.”

Emilia’s heart skipped a beat, “A real marriage?”

Nathaniel’s posture immediately stiffened, and the openness she had glimpsed the night before vanished. His expression remained pleasant, but his eyes were once again impossible to read.

“A comfortable friendship, at least,” he amended quickly. “Do you not agree?” He took another sip of his tea. It seemed to be an effort to calm whatever nerves had suddenly risen, but the subtle bounce of his knee proved it wasn’t having the desired effect.

“Of course.” Emilia smiled, in an attempt to put him at ease. Nathaniel returned the smile, but it was different than the one he had greeted her with.

An awkward silence descended over the room. Emilia lowered her eyes to her plate, though the food no longer seemed appetizing.

“I wrote to Adeline,” Nathaniel’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “They will be expecting us to collect Charlotte by the end of the week.”

Emilia nodded, but before she could reply the door to the breakfast room opened and Briggs reentered the room.

“This just arrived for you, Your Grace,” he extended the silver tray in his hand towards Emilia.

“Thank you, Briggs,” she smiled as she lifted the ivory card from its place on the tray.

“Are you expecting a caller this afternoon?” Nathaniel asked, failing to mask the concern in his voice. They had yet to receive any guests aside from the Blackburns, and the fact that someone had written so early this morning was most likely due to the attention they had drawn the evening before.

Emilia read over the card and shook her head with a deflated sigh. “My aunt is inviting me for tea this afternoon.”