Page 37 of To Have & To Hold

Nathaniel nodded slowly. It was not entirely surprising, Lord and Lady Moorfield did not exactly strike him as the warm and feeling type, but to have one’s own name associated with such unpleasant feelings—especially a name as beautiful and delicate as the woman who possessed it—pricked at his heart.

“I am sorry, Nathaniel,” she whispered again. “It is something I must get used to, and I promise I will.”

Nathaniel inhaled deeply, lowering his gaze to hers. “There is nothing you need to apologize for. We will grow more at ease with each other in time. Someday you may find that hearing me say your name brings you comfort.” A feeling of warmth rushed through him, but he quickly pushed it aside.

“Until then, I will simply call you something else,” he said, his tone lighter than it had been before.

Emilia laughed, “Like what?”

He leaned back again, studying her carefully. “I assume thatYour Graceis out of the question?”

“Entirely.”

Nathaniel hummed in agreement, nodding slowly as he suppressed a smile. “Do you have a middle name?”

“Anne,” she replied. “But it was my mother’s name, so I prefer not to be called by it.”

“Mrs. Eaton?”

Her eyes widened, and she slowly shook her head, “I am likely not to realize whom you are referring to.”

Nathaniel chuckled. “It seems we have quite the dilemma then, my dear.”

Nathaniel’s heart thrummed in his chest before plummeting to the floor below. The words had slipped out so naturally, he had scarcely realized he said them; not until he noticed the slight hitch of her breath and blush rising in her cheeks.

It was an innocent enough address, especially for a man to his wife. But it was something about the way it felt on his tongue. It made him realize how dear this woman really was, and how strong a desire he had to protect her from the world she had come from, and the one he had pulled her into.

Emilia cleared her throat, “I suppose that could work.” She slowly raised her eyes to meet his again.

“I suppose it could,” Nathaniel managed, his voice thicker than he wished it was. It was harder to portray the image that one was unaffected when their voice sounded like it was scraping along a gravel path.

He pushed himself from his seat, quickly turning to look out the window. The sun was inching higher in the sky, and soon the streets would be bathed in light and full of bustling activity and prying eyes. It was too late to attempt a row now,but he needed to get outside, even if it was simply a quick walk through the garden. He walked towards the kitchen door.

“Wait,” Emilia called after him. “Are you going somewhere?”

Nathaniel glanced over his shoulder. The morning sunlight streamed through the kitchen window right onto Emilia, illuminating every green fleck in her usually golden eyes and highlighting the pink flush of her lips. Suddenly desperate for a deep breath of cool air, Nathaniel turned back to the door.

“I will see you at breakfast, my dear,” he said, clearing his throat.

Against all his efforts and better judgment, he was in very real danger of losing his heart to this woman.

Chapter Thirteen

Emilia’s gaze wandered from the pages of the book in her lap to her husband, who was sitting by the fire with his own book in hand. The library was completely silent, save for the crackling of the burning logs in the hearth and the punctuated sound of Charlotte’s needle piercing the fabric she was aggressively embroidering.

They had just finished a pleasant and relatively uneventful dinner, the first that the three of them had shared since the wedding nearly a week ago. Since the morning Nathaniel had discovered her in the kitchen, Emilia had noticed his presence much more frequently.

Emilia supposed he was doing his best to put forth an effort—if they were to grow more comfortable in one another’spresence, it only made sense that they should spend more time with one another. Yet Emilia found that she could learn much more about her husband when he was not around.

His duties in Parliament kept him busy, giving Emilia plenty of time to converse with the staff, all of whom, she was very quickly learning, absolutely adored their duke.

Not outwardly—they wouldn’t dare. When face to face with the Duke of Kenswick, they were poised and properly attentive—but Emilia had seen them lingering in dark corners and alcoves, following him like shadows, meeting his every need, even when they went unspoken—which they often did.

For the most surprising detail Emilia had learned about the man she had married was that he did not seem to know how to receive the care he so diligently bestowed upon others.

Nathaniel turned the page of the book he was reading, adjusting its position in his lap. Emilia’s brow furrowed as she caught a glimpse of the word“Agriculture”printed on the cover.

“This is torturous, Nathaniel!” Charlotte gracefully threw herself across the settee and draped an arm dramatically over one eye. Emilia disguised her laugh as a cough as she caught Nathaniel’s exasperated gaze as he looked up from his reading.