Page 15 of To Have & To Hold

“Circumstances prevented me from learning her name, but I have not been able to stop thinking of her since.” He kept his words dangerously close to the truth.

He hadn’t been able to rid his mind of the young woman he had pulled from the Thames. The color of her eyes, the feel of her in his arms…but no one needed to know the specifics of how they met, or that he hadn’t followed her into the gardens tonight to propose. Everything that had happened before he stepped off that terrace mattered little now.

“I admit that when I saw her tonight, I acted hastily, but not dishonorably.”

Still the truth.

He hadn’t even considered the fact that someone could be wearing a dress so similar to his sister before he chased the young woman out into the dark.

Mr. Huxley scoffed, his eyes falling once again on the young lady in question. Nathaniel had to admit, it looked grim. The poor girl was disheveled from her time in the rain, running from him through the garden, and being pushed into a bush. Her eyes, cheeks and lips were red from the cold, but standing there in his jacket, no one would assume the flush was fromthe wind.

He took a deep breath, and when he did, he was flooded with the fresh scent of roses that had transferred from her hair onto his cravat.

How had he found himself in the exact situation he had warned his sister of? If there wasn’t so much at stake, it would have almost been comical.

Nathaniel cleared his throat, taking a step towards Mr. Huxley. “Nothing untoward occurred.”

He didn’t have to raise his voice; he simply allowed the weight of his title to speak before he continued. “That is more than I can say for what I observed between the two of you.”

Huxley swallowed, his face turning pale.

“My only intention was to find a private place where I could declare myself…” The first true lie settled heavily in Nathaniel’s chest. “…until we were startled.”

The unspoken accusation hung in the air, and the young girl who was with Huxley had gone completely silent. At some point between her smart remarks and Nathaniel’s declaration, she must have realized the position she found herself in. He hated using her own reputation as a bargaining chip, but the girl he had been with was completely innocent in all of this.

Wasn’t she?

Now that he thought about it, Nathaniel had absolutely no idea why she was in the gardens alone; if she had even been alone.

His stomach turned sour at the thought. Regardless of what her intentions had been, there was no going back now. Their fate had been sealed the moment Nathaniel exposed them.

The moment he had heard Huxley’s name and the girlish laugh that accompanied it, his instinct had taken over. The wave of relief he felt the moment he realized it wasn’t Charlotte was soon replaced with the pit of dread over what he had done.

He didn’t dare look back at the woman behind him. If he saw the terror in her eyes, or the trembling of her hands, it was sure to undo the calm composure he currently had perfectly under control.

A duke never showed weakness; not when the weight of another’s future rested so heavily on his shoulders. The circumstances that had led them all here mattered little in this moment—whoever this woman was, she was his responsibility now.

“I am planning to speak with her father at once, and I would prefer to proceed with things properly, without unnecessary spectacle.” Nathaniel held his breath. The sound of his heart beating against his chest was magnified in the silence.

Huxley’s hesitation was putting them all in an even more precarious situation. The longer they stood there, the more they risked someone else venturing from the terrace and discovering them. The end result would be the same—hewould still marry the girl, but it would be a much harder image to salvage.

Huxley finally nodded slowly—he knew he didn’t have a choice.

“Of course, Your Grace,” he murmured through clenched teeth. “We will not breathe a word. We know how much you value discretion.” The final word was punctuated with his true meaning…silence for silence.

Nathaniel nodded in agreement as the other couple turned to take their leave, carefully maneuvering through the garden paths to try and remain unseen as they snuck back into the crowded drawing room.

Nathaniel took a breath, allowing himself a moment to relax before turning to face the young woman he had just promised himself to. Her face was even paler than it had been before, her eyes wide as they stared at him.

“Well,” he tried to force a smile to calm her. “That could have been worse.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, but the sobs that wracked her body were completely silent. Her hands trembled as she held them against her chest. “I cannot breathe,” she whispered as she lowered herself to kneel in the mud.

Nathaniel dropped to her side, taking one of her gloved hands in his and placing the other under her chin, forcing her to hold his gaze.

“You are alright,” he whispered. “Try to breathe more slowly.” He exaggerated his own inhales and exhales for her to follow. Slowly she began to relax, her breathing falling into perfect rhythm with his. The noise from the terrace grew louder, and he knew he had to get her away from the crowd.

“Come with me.” He rose from the ground, never letting go of her hand, and led her further away from the glow of the ballroom. He searched until he found another door. They slipped inside the dark hallway, walking away from the muffled voices and music until he found the room he was looking for.