Page 10 of To Have & To Hold

“It is you.”

Chapter Four

From the moment she stepped through the front doors of Beckley House, something hadn’t seemed quite right with the air. At first, Emilia attributed it to the amount of perfume that clouded the room. Every breath seemed thicker than the last, sticking in her chest and making it increasingly harder to mask her labored breaths.

Everything was much brighter and louder than it should have been. Despite the doors to the outdoor terrace that stood open at the back of the drawing room, Emilia could feel the flush rising in her neck as she was pushed further into the crowd.

“Stop blushing, Emilia!” Her aunt scolded under her breath. She pulled her embroidered silk fan from her reticule,pretending to fan her own face while discreetly sending the cool air in Emilia’s direction. “Your coloring is unfortunate enough. You do not need to draw even more attention to it”

Emilia felt the air stick in her throat completely as her cheeks heated even more. Her pale skin was pinker than that of her aunt and cousin, and it was only accented by the color of Louisa’s dress that she had been forced into. Her red hair also did nothing to aid her in this regard.

“I think I will find the refreshment table,” Emilia whispered. “Perhaps some lemonade will help me to cool.”

Her aunt nodded dismissively and waved her off.

Emilia filled her glass with the cool drink, sipping slowly, trying to focus on slowing her breathing to a particular rhythm. That always seemed to help whenever she found it difficult to take in air, though it was nearly impossible to take a full breath with how tightly the stays of her corset had been pulled.

The room hadn’t started spinning like it sometimes did, so she was still confident in her ability to regain control of the feelings churning inside of her.

She pretended to browse the vast spread of refreshments provided, though she had no intention of eating. If the room did in fact start to spin later in the night, it was best if she kept an empty stomach. But if she kept her eyes on the food and off the people floating around the room, she wouldnot risk accidentally giving someone the impression that she wanted to converse—or dance.

Her eyes roamed aimlessly, landing on a sugary pink confection with red berries decorating the top.

“You should try one,” a soft, delicate voice sang in her ear.

Emilia looked up to see the most dazzling smile. The young girl could not have been more than eighteen, if that. Her black curls were immaculately styled, and her blue eyes shimmered with excitement. She was a breathtaking beauty.

Emilia was sure they had never met before; it would be hard to forget her, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that her eyes were incredibly familiar.

The young man who stood beside her seemed completely besotted by her. The way her eyes flickered back to him every so often made Emilia feel a pang of sadness for her. She knew all too well how quickly the thrill of a first season could fade.

“They look like they were made for you.” The young girl’s smile brightened even more.

“I beg your pardon?” Emilia asked.

“The cakes.” She pointed towards the tray holding the pink treats. “They match you perfectly.”

Emilia held in a laugh. Had it been anyone else in the room, she might have thought them to be making fun of her—comparing her overly pink complexion and peach dress to the frosting and berries decorating the small bite-sized cakes.

If she were being entirely honest, Emilia was sure she did look like a ridiculous confection. But from a smile so full of light as this young girl wore, it felt nothing short of completely genuine.

Emilia smiled back at her, noticing for the first time the gown she was wearing. The cut was different—the neckline drooping in an elegant off-the-shoulder scoop—and the lace was far daintier and higher quality than what Emilia wore—but beyond that, their dresses were nearly identical in style and color.

This must be Lady Charlotte.

“Considering how much more flattering this color is on you, I dare say you should take the honor of being compared to such a delicacy.” Emilia placed a few of the cakes on her empty plate and stretched them out as an offering.

Lady Charlotte took one, placing it on her own plate that was already piled high with sweet treats. She picked a berry from the top, popping it in her mouth with a smile.

Before either of them could say another word, Emilia caught a glimpse of her uncle across the drawing room with Lord Whitecombe. His eyes scanned the crowd, and Emilia felt the sudden urge to flee before they landed on her.

She could feel her chest constricting again, her lungs working harder than they had been just a moment before, but somehow still void of air.

She could have simply stayed where she was and waited until he found her. She could have held her head high and faced her inevitable fate, but for the second time in her life, Emilia Talbot gave in to the urge to flee.

Her head was still muddled, and it took a moment for her mind to fully catch up to what her body intended to do. By the time her breath returned to normal and she was thinking clearly again, she was standing outside on the terrace. The biting wind cut at her exposed arms, making her fully aware of how hasty her actions had been.

She stole a glance back inside, where the glow of the lanterns that had seemed so overwhelming before now looked unexpectedly inviting and warm. She could see Lady Charlotte still at the refreshment table, reengaged in conversation with the young man who had been with her.