Page 5 of Three of Hearts

"What's your last name, so I know who to hunt down if that's not the case?" Q joked back.

"Davis, and I take full responsibility of your wife for the next…." She glanced at her watch. "Six to seven hours."

"Seven hours?" Q and I said in unison, and she laughed at us.

"Y'all aren't from here, huh? Blue Flame doesn't close until three. And when we step out, we shut the place down."

We started making our way towards the elevator, Nikki locking her arm in mine.

"Well, y'all better not make me have to come shut some shit down. Check in with me, alright?"

"Yes, sir," we both replied, giggling.

I caught a glimpse of the enthralled look in my husband's eyes, that mix of love and lust before we said "I love you" and the elevator doors closed.

*****

Blue Flame was pretty much like any other strip club I had been to in my life. Sketchy parking lot. Neon sign. Classic black awning. And a bouncer who looked corn fed and like he didn't play about kicking you out if you fucked up the vibe. I pulled out my ID and handed it to the lumberjack of a man.

"Okay! Detroit in the house!" he yelled, scanning my ID and placing a band around my wrist.

"You're from Detroit?" Nikki asked as we filed into the packed space.

"Yeah, the east side. Have you ever been?" I asked, having to raise my voice over the loud music that I could feel in my chest.

"Yeah, but its been a minute. I have some family up there."

Before I could respond, Raina had interrupted, letting us know she took the initiative of buying us a section. I was grateful, extremely grateful, because my feet were still sore as hell from walking around all day. Once we were settled in our section, I made sure to text Q that we had arrived, then I took in my surroundings. The atmosphere was unapologetically southern. The smell of lemon pepper wings hung heavy in the air along with the aroma of blunt smoke and body oil, all of it wrapping around us like humidity.Presidentialby YoungBloodz was pulsing through the speakers as the gold fronts of everyone singing along caught the shimmering lights. The dancers swinging on the poles were stacked, thick natural bodies I took the time to appreciate because I could see the cellulite.

"Shots? Yes?" Gina asked, already pouring each of us one from a bottle I hadn't realized was sitting on the small table in front of us. We all took it to the head. Then another. Then another. Before I knew it, that blooming warmth spreading through my chest told me I was nearing my limit. I'd always been a happy drunk. Liquor turned me into the more extroverted, compliment giving, impromptu karaoke singing version of myself, which was why I was currently belting the lyrics toFirstby KenTheMan like I wasn't in a happy, healthy five-year marriage. The girls were singing with their whole chest right along with me. I took in the moment, realizing they remindedme of the characters from the show Girlfriends. Raina was undeniably Toni. A tad bougie, classy, and quick to accept a man buying her a drink even though the section she just bought came with three complimentary bottles. Gina gave me Mya vibes. She mentioned her son a couple of times on the ride over and she was funny and sarcastic as hell. Then there was Nikki, who was absolutely a free spirit like Lynn. Her energy was full of a contagious light that made me envy whatever gem of a therapist she'd found to do the shadow work necessary to exhibit it. Because while her light was bright, I knew that wasn't always the case. A semicolon tattoo adorned her inner wrist, a tattoo meaning you made the decision to keep going when you could've ended it. I knew the symbol well. My sister had the same thing etched into her wrist.

That left me being Joan, which was fitting because I was definitely the overthinking nurturer. I watched Nikki swaying her body to the music and started wondering if Joan had ever wanted to fuck Lynn or vice versa. The sapphic lover in me wanted the writers of the show to explore that storyline. What would have happened if Joan just kissed her one night? In my head, Lynn would've been waiting for it to happen, suppressing her desire for Joan in the name of valuing their friendship over her curiosity about wanting to know what she tasted like. They got on each other's nerves sometimes, sure, but the love…it was there.

"Come with me to the restroom?" Nikki asked, leaning into my ear. Her hand was resting on my arm, then slid down to grab my hand as I nodded in agreement, an act I wouldn't have thought twice about if she were anyone else and if I hadn't been having the nastiest lesbian fan fiction fantasy when she asked. But I was, and because of that, her touch felt like sex. We made our way through the crowd hand in hand as I watched the menmentally undress us. I'd forgotten what the male gaze felt like in this type of social setting since men never even dared to look at me when I was with Quincy. He gave off that "try it if you want to" energy.

The line for the women's restroom was ridiculously long. The narrow walkway packed with bodies mixed with the alcohol in everyone's system made for an extremely hot and uncomfortable wait. I didn’t mind, though. It was slightly quieter, which allowed for easier conversation with Nikki.

"I'm drunk as fuck," she laughed.

"Girl, me too," I cackled with her.

"I haven't been drunk like this since being with my ex."

"He had you lit all the time?" I asked.

"She," Nikki corrected. "And yeah, she was a bit of an alcoholic. Not the healthiest relationship."

"I'm sorry for assuming. I didn't know you were…" I hesitated because I didn't know whether to say gay or a lesbian. Was one offensive? I started replaying everything I had said to her since earlier, hoping I hadn't unintentionally said anything else that she might've taken offense to. But it started to make sense why I was getting a certain energy from her and why our eye contact felt different.

"I'm bisexual. And there's no reason to apologize. There's no way you would've known," she said, placing her hand on my arm again. This time, it caused goosebumps. She looked down, feeling the raised skin under her touch, and smiled.

"Have you ever been with a woman?"

Her question almost made me choke on the margarita I was babysitting. It also made me want to confide in her that I'd always been curious. I was never an over sharer, especially to someone I'd just met, but I couldn't do anything but blame it on the alcohol.

"No, but I always wanted to."

"So you and your husband have never… shit, what the fuck is he doing here?" she whisper yelled.