Page 27 of Honey, I'm Home

I’m not even embarrassed I need to be saved by a woman, because she’s going to look hot as hell when she rides to our rescue.

She will ride to our rescue, right?

???

I’m coughing so hard when I come to that I end up vomiting, gasping for air. I’m still lying on my kitchen floor, which is odd, and I look around, trying to figure out what’s going on. The tranq dart is still sticking out of my arm, which isn’t that comfortable,but I’m within kicking distance of Arbor so I try to get his attention.

He groans and starts coughing as well, flailing around in his panic and headbutting Dev.

“What the fuck?” Dev splutters.

Well, my hands are free at least so there’s that.

I jump up a bit too quickly and have to shake off the wave of dizziness that follows, leaning on the counter and then grabbing a glass of water from the sink. I rinse my mouth out and refill it again, chugging it all before passing it to Arbor and Dev.

The house looks a mess; the door is hanging open still, and there are big splinters framing the doorway where they kicked it in. I stumble to the porch and look around, noting that Aster’s car is in the driveway, but her door is partially open and the contents of her purse are scattered all over the walkway.

I highly doubt calling her will come of anything, but I have to try anyway.

“Oh, hey Hawthorne. You guys doing okay? This bitch wouldn’t let me stay and take care of you.”

There’s a somewhat muted scream in the background and a scramble, but then Aster is back. “Evidently The Bitch doesn’t like being called ‘The Bitch.’ Don’t worry; I’m going to get this all sorted.”

“Where are you? Where did they take you?”

“Something about needing to testify that I’m…like…with you.”

I can’t help smiling. She has such a hard time admitting she’s our queen. “They taking you to the court?”

“That’s what I was told. Hey look, just in case enraged princess barbie decides to take me somewhere else, I want you to knowhow much this short time with you guys has meant. Coaxing your dicks out while you slathered me in honey was seriously the highlight of my life.”

There’s a shriek in the background, and I can only assume that Aster is just doing everything in her power to provoke the princess. We filled Aster in on the basics of honeybee government, so she’ll know that as long as she’s mostly complying with demands from the officials, she’s protected.

She can talk shit all she wants and they can’t hurt her.

“I’m going to grab our lawyer, and we’ll find a way to get to you, okay? It’s kind of a long trip, I bet they have a private jet. Might take us a bit, but we’ll get there. In the meantime, please take care of yourself and stay safe. We love you.”

Aster starts cackling, and I gather that she put us on speakerphone so the princess that ordered all this to happen would hear us proclaim our devotion to somebody else. “I’m not saying that back for the first time over the phone. Oh hey, you might want to talk to Anderson and my parents about me being kidnapped— they’re probably going to be super pissed and sic the town on these guys.”

Because I’m a team player, Dev and Arbor are also listening in on the conversation, biting their nails, and pacing while they try to work out the best first step.

When Aster mentions her parents and the town though, Dev springs into action. He runs into the house and grabs his phone, furiously typing into it.

“I think Dev has an idea.”

“Hmm? Oh, that’s cool. Hey just have him wait for like 2 more seconds…okay, I’ll see you soon!”

Chaos ensues on the other end of the phone call, the sound of tires swerving echoes faintly through the speaker, and then the call goes completely silent.

I stare down at my phone in horror, wondering what the hell just happened.

I’m halfway out of my skin from nerves when the door on Aster’s car shuts by itself and her things start picking themselves up from the ground and jumping back into her purse.

I watch on, fascinated and confused, something pinches my ass, and then there’s yelping from inside the house.

I run back inside, and after the sound of drawers slamming bounces around the walls from the second floor, Aster miraculously appears at the top of the stairs wearing a pair of jeans and one of Dev’s shirts. Her hair is somehow perfectly imperfect and her smile is huge.

She takes in all of us staring at her like morons, mouths hanging open and unable to speak, and hurries to us.