Page 35 of American Sweethearts

He turned to look at me and smiled sadly, his lips still a little bruised from my kisses. “We’ll take this as far as you want, Pris.” He shook his head, and heaved out a tired breath. “I want you in my life. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want a repeat of the other night.” As soon as he said that, he widened his eyes, as if seeing the hot pad for the first time. “I mean obviously not today, but like anytime. I am open to whatever you want.”

My laugh at his attempt to work in the appeal for more sex was shaky, but the cramps were coming back, so I wasn’t sure if it was because of J’s words or my own body. I stood, letting what he said, the obvious want in his voice, wash over me. To be wanted like this, desired, just as I was, had always been a heady thing. And I’d always struggled with believing it. Believing him.

He looked down at the floor, shaking his head and when he looked at me again, I could see in his eyes that he was desperate for me to see how much he meant every word. And when in the past I’d harden myself to his promises, this time I just didn’t have the strength to walk away.

“I swear I will not fuck this up.”

I shook my head and came to sit with him on the bed. “I was the one that kissed you, J.” I took the pad from his hands, justto find something to do. “I don’t want to mess this up either. It’s been nice hanging out today. I’ve missed you, too.”

He dipped his head and looked at me again, looking more serious than I’d ever seen him. “We’ll make it work. Figuring out a way to be around each other cannot be harder than staying away.”

I laughed and ran a hand over his fade, running the pad of my finger along the sharp angles of his lineup. I was so mixed up about this man, and about myself. I wanted to let whatever was starting to brew between us happen and deal with the consequences later, but as if to remind me just how bad things had gone the last time, a sharp pain shot through my abdomen, making me double over.

“Shit.”

With that, Juanpa stood up and waved a hand at the bed. “Get in there. I’ll go get the tea and heat this up.” He rushed out of the room with the pad in his hand and I curled up under his covers, amazed to realize that even though this was the first time J had ever done any of this stuff for me, he still knew exactly what to do.

chapter twenty-three

juan pablo

“Damn, J, you real pressed. What’s up?”

I was so far in my own head while working on Yariel Cuevas, one of the Yankees players I gave PT to on the off-season that I practically jumped at his question. I didn’t answer right away and kept massaging his shoulder as I considered what to say.

Yariel was a friend—hell, he’d been a steady hookup when I’d started dating about six months after Pris and I broke up. He was a real one. Unapologetic about his sexuality from the first day he stepped on the field. Even after things had fizzled out with us, we’d stayed close. I’d been over to his place to hang out with him and his boyfriend on the regular and I knew he’d probably be a good person to talk this over with. Of course I could talk to one of the guys, but they all were too invested when it came to me and Priscilla and even when they understood my worries, they couldn’t really be objective.

I slowly moved his pitching arm around as I worked out a way to say what I’d been stewing on for days. “Priscilla and I are kind of involved again.” I was impressed with myself for summing up the increasingly complicated situation between Pris and me. It had been a week since the night of the workshop and Pris had been at my house almost every day. We’d kept it platonic the first couple of times, but as soon as she felt up for it, we were back in my bed.

We were now in this weird in-between where we were together, but not really, and it was driving me nuts.

Yariel looked up at me and blew out a slow breath. During those first months of our friendship, he’d gotten more than one earful about Priscilla and all the ways in which I’d fucked up. “Isn’t that good news? Why have you been scowling since I got here?”

I let go of his arm and pointed at one of the machines we usually worked with.

“Five reps on each side, then we switch.” I was still thinking about what to say as I walked over to the machine and got him set up for his exercises. “It’s just that we’ve been doing this thing where she comes over and we watch shows and I make dinner. I’ll throw my arm around her, make out…a whole lot more sometimes.” My heart rate sped up, thinking of the night before. She’d come to my place after work and we’d fucked right up against the door. I didn’t even have time to properly say hello.

My face heated from the image in my head. “But she’s got a very clear limit. We can talk about anything, but if she comes over obviously heated or fucked up from work, I’m not allowed to ask questions.” Yariel clicked his tongue as he did his reps. His head was down but he was clearly listening as I talked.

“The fact that she’s miserable at her job is not up for discussion, even though I can see how she basically tenses up anytime she gets a text from her captain or one of her colleagues. That’s not my business, because I’m not her man.” I ran my tongue over my bottom teeth as that fun fact sunk in again. I’d let my dick trap me into a situation where I couldn’t really be there for Priscilla, not how I wanted to be.

Yariel stopped what he was doing and turned around on the machine’s seat to look at me. We were in one of the PT rooms at the stadium, which on a random afternoon in December meantwe had the place to ourselves. Not that Yariel had any issue with talking about his personal life—the guy was an open book.

He gave me a look like I wasn’t going to love what he had to say. “Wasn’t the reason you broke up last time related to you being an asshole about how much she worked?”

I gritted my teeth as I positioned him on the machine again and worked on supporting his back as he pulled on the thing. “That’s a pretty short version of the events, but yes,” I said testily. “She almost got shot on the job and had been getting three hours of sleep for weeks, and when I told her I was worried about her, she decided I had something against her being a cop.”

Yariel took his time on his answer. I knew that he and his boyfriend had their struggles when it came to his job and how all-consuming it was. Dating a professional athlete was no joke; at best you came a close second in the priorities list. He flashed those light hazel eyes at me before finally opening his mouth. “But you do have something against her job.”

Damn, I didn’t know why I thought this fucker would go any easier on me than the guys. “It’s not that I have something against it, I just have feelings about it.”

He gave me a dubious smile and turned back around to grab the levers for the machine. “You havebaggagearound it. Your father got injured in the line of duty. You grew up seeing your mom constantly worried about him. You know that and shecertainlyknows that.”

Yes, and when she told me she couldn’t deal with me putting my stuff on her while she was trying to do a dangerous job and begged me to get some help, I blew her off until she got tired of my bullshit.

“She does.” I pressed my lips until they were a flat line, waiting for more of Yariel’s hot takes.

“Did you tell her you’re seeing someone?”