Page 389 of Once Upon a Fable

I threw back half of my drink, needing the courage to speak the last few things that burned on my tongue. “Jareth says I’m the only one he’ll trust because he knows I would’ve died protecting him. Love makes me loyal. When I choose to care, I’m all in. You already know bits and pieces of my past, Gem. You’ve heard me screaming in my sleep. You’ve put two and two together. But if you want to ask questions, I will do my best to answer you. If you have fears about how I’ll treat you, I will do whatever I can to assure you that I’m different. It wasn’t Jareth who reminded me of who I am...it was you.” I turned to face her, my knee nudging hers. “It was you from the start, pulling me back into the light, forcing me to wake up even when I wasn’t ready. But I’m ready now. I’ve made that choice, and there’s no going back.”

Jareth threw back his third drink, raising his empty glass in a salute. “Bravo, brother.” He glanced at Gem. “Think you can handle that confession? Any questions? Want to know how many guests he’s slept with? How many toys he’s had shoved up his—”

“No,” Gemma snapped, taking a large mouthful of her own drink, finally joining us in our strange somber party. “Like I said, I know enough.”

“You sure?” I asked gently. “It’s not that I want to fill your head with the same kind of filth I carry, and I won’t deny that it still fucking kills me remembering my family’s pain when I couldn’t protect them, but you asked me once why I couldn’t speak about it. That reason is gone now. And if you need me to share—”

“I only wanted you to share so you could be free, Kas.” She gave me a tentative, almost worried smile. “I appreciate you making the decision to stop running. And I’ve long argued that it’s because of your suppression that your memories have such hold over you, so I’m glad you’re ready to face them, but...”

When she didn’t continue, fear crept down my spine. Had I said too much? Did she think differently of me? I knew it was a lot to take on, but I thought she already understood who I was. “But?” I asked, my heart thrumming in my throat.

She sighed and downed the rest of her drink, cringing against the fire left on her tongue. “I’m over the moon to hear you’re ready to get better. I’m holding back ugly tears that you’ve already improved so much. Andyou know I will help you every step of the way. Love makes me loyal too, Kas, and I will do whatever I can to help you.”

“But...” I waved my hand.

She raised her chin, tears still gleaming in her hazel eyes. “But I don’t know if it’s as simple as making a choice. Do you honestly think you’re...cured? That you can sleep beside me now and not succumb to a nightmare that might end up with you trying to kill me?”

“I’m willing to take precautions to ensure I don’t get that far, but yes.” I nodded firmly. “I refuse to let Storymaker have any hold on me whatsoever. I’m done.”

“If that’s true, you know what you need to do then, don’t you?” Jareth asked slyly, pouring himself a fourth drink. At this rate, he’d self-medicated past any feeling, let alone numbing whatever pain my fists had given him last night.

I shot him a warning look. Just because I’d followed his lead and willingly shattered any remaining doors and walls inside my head, allowing past and present to mingle freely, didn’t mean I was ready to—

“Touch yourself, Kas.” Jareth sipped his bourbon. “Grab that cock of yours, spank it, throttle it, do whatever healthy, horny men do, and prove to me that you’ve claimed ownership over that part of your body. Unless you do that, I don’t know if I trust leaving Gemma in your company without a chaperone.” He grinned, winking at Gem. “After all, if sex between you two is like what I saw today, then the poor girl deserves better.”

Gemma’s cheeks pinked. “He was being honorable. I encouraged sex to prove a point to you. To show he was safe—”

“He’s not safe until he can come by his own hand.” Jareth grabbed his own crotch. “The day I was free, I claimed this back as mine. I got high, locked the door, and fucked myself over and over again to prove a point. To prove to myself that me andonly megets to play with this. I get to decide who’s permitted to touch it.”

And how long has it been since that day, brother?

I’d watched him, reading what he wasn’t saying.

I might’ve been alone for eleven years, but Jareth...he still wore the newness of freedom. He didn’t look settled into the novelty. He still glanced at the door with panic camouflaged as boredom. He still stiffened if Gemma moved too quickly or something rustled against the window.

Wherever Jareth had been for the past decade...it’d been worse than living alone with only nature to keep me company.

I opened my mouth to ask about the scar on his cheek, but Gemma balled her hands and asked, “What about the girl you killed? Was she allowed to touch you?”

Jareth sucked in a harsh breath.

“Wait, what?” My eyes shot to his. “Who was she? What the fuck happened? Tell me.”

“Nah, think I’ll keep that tale for another day, thanks.” Jareth leaned back, deliberately spreading his legs, his hand grabbing a fistful of hiscock. The look in his gaze looked half dead, half psychopath. “Come on, Kas. Follow my lead. You’ve got enough booze in your system to ignore your righteous rules.” Jareth snickered, speaking to Gemma, “Did you know, he’d actually turn around and not look if Nyx or the others got undressed in the dorm? He acted as if seeing them naked wasn’t allowed even though we’d seen every part of each other thanks to the games we were forced to—”

“Enough.” I held up my hand, my headache back and throbbing. “I’m not masturbating in front of you.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Fuck off.”

Jareth stopped rubbing himself, digging both hands into the armrests and leaning forward. “You’re jerking off in front of me, and I’ll tell you why.”

Anger poured through me. My hands itched to connect with his face again. “I think you’ve had enough to drink for one night.” I went to push to my feet, aiming to confiscate the bourbon before he went sloppy drunk. But the room tilted and roiled, reminding me for all my progress today, I still had a concussion. I still had a medical condition that could take years to solve, according to the damn book in the library.

“You say you’ve made a choice,” Jareth repeated my earnest decision. “But I don’t believe you’re fully committed to that choice unless you get off on your own.” His eyes hardened. “We both know that’s when the nightmares started and when shit got bad for you.”

I bared my teeth. “I was serving twice as much as anyone. Trying to protect you lot was why I started struggling—”