Page 310 of Once Upon a Fable

She’d looked different.

There’d been a light in her eyes. A welcome. A warmth. When I’d first stepped into the room, she’d blushed and given me a smile that summoned me to her. The overwhelming sensation of affection tugged me forward, promising comfort after the disastrous sleep I’d had on the stairs.

I’dwantedher.

Her smile said she could soothe my aches, stitch my wounds, and grant me peace that I couldn’t seem to find anywhere else but with her. She looked as if she was excited to see me. As if she wanted to hug me, kiss me, touch all my scars and share pleasure with someone who’d trapped her.

How was that even possible?

The last interaction we’d had was...

It was...

Wait, it must’ve been...

No, it was when...

Ah, hell.

I groaned under my breath, tugging at my hair, raging at my crippling headache.

Why can’t I remember?

This wasn’t like before.

This wasn’t like all my other memories, skulking and slithering behind armored doors, just waiting for sleep or distraction to punish me.

This was...blank.

A blank emptiness that spread like cancer, chewing up pieces of my day, my night, and everything in-between.

Think!

I grunted as my head throbbed harder, and my balance believed I lived on the bow of a ship and not in an ivy-smothered mansion.

I’d been cruel to her, I knew that. I’d been nasty, purely because having her say things like “making love” and “friendship” had fuckingterrifiedme. I’d spewed all that shit about my past. I’d given her pieces of me that no one should ever know.

Why?

What had driven me to confess things I’d so firmly locked away? Things I’d trained myself to forget?

It’d been her. Her softness. Her empathy even while I denied her.

The way she spoke of pleasure and togetherness—she made it seem as if we’d changed our path last night and had committed to one another.

Committedwhatexactly?

Had she said she wanted me?

Had she said she loved me?

Because she’d looked at me as if shedidlove me...and thatcan’t possibly be true.

I choked, stumbling upright and swaying on the spot. Loving another person would destroy me. I wasn’t prepared to let someone have that much power over me again.

Neveragain.

I’d learned that lesson, andI can’t fucking do it again!