Page 13 of Xane

A sob rips from me and I shrink back.That voice belongs to Grayer.My sweet Grayer.He can’t be here.It’s my imagination.The safe haven I made inside my head to escape the pain.I squeeze my eyes shut and pull the memory from my brain.

“I’m not holding your hand, sawbones.There’s no need to show others that you’re mine.”His smile lights my heart when he adds, “Everyone knows, or I’ll make sure to remind them.”

I can feel the smile on my face, the touch of his hand cupping my cheek, and the look of adoration in his eyes.A moment in time, a memory, mere minutes where I’ve never felt more alive and loved.

“Answer me, Zora,” Grayer says, his voice harder and lacking the kindness.

It’s not part of my memory and it makes me whimper.Not being able to slip into my own mind would be a complete hell.So much has already been taken from me...I can’t...I won’t be able to live without this small escape.

“Zora.”His voice suddenly becomes softer.“Give me your eyes, sawbones.”

Sawbones.My heart jolts inside my chest and a wave of nausea hits.No one has called me sawbones in over a decade.It’s slang for a doctor and the only one who used to call me that is Grayer.

It’s not a memory.

I slowly open my eyes and find the strength to raise my head.He’s sitting across from me and he’s pointing a gun at the man sitting beside me.

“Sawbones,” he gently repeats.“There you are.Now, do you want to come with me?Or are you...”

“Yes,” I croak and shrink away when my hands are tugged under the table.

“What the fuck did you just do?”Grayer barks.

Footsteps, some shuffling, and then the presence of the man sitting beside me is gone, but my hands are yanked hard as well.I scream in pain and hear someone curse just as loud.A hand reaches for me and I quickly scramble back.Panic hits me as I brace for more pain.

“Roux, grab that fucker and handle this shit,” I hear Grayer say in the distance while I’m unable to catch my breath as full-blown panic takes over.

Fading in and out has become a regular occurrence, and not being conscious is a gift.Sounds fucked-up, and it absolutely is, but it’s better than dealing with the pain.I whimper again and try to shift.

Something is different.For one, I can move my hands, but the most important change is the scent.It’s clean, fresh, and the fabric is soft.I slowly open my eyes and see an older woman by my side.

“Hi, I’m Ivy, a friend of Grayer.Well, we’re more like part of a large family, a brotherhood to be precise.I’m Chopper’s old lady.My husband is one of the older generation of Broken Deeds MC, the mother chapter.Grayer is part of the New Jersey chapter.”

Broken Deeds MC?Mother chapter?Grayer is part of a New Jersey chapter?What is she talking about?Grayer is wearing a leather cut with the Xane MC patch, his father’s club.I frown and try to move slowly because everything always hurts.

“I’m rambling.”She steps forward and I move back.

Too damn fast and it makes me wince at the pain shooting through my limbs.

Ivy clicks her tongue.“Sorry.”She holds her hands palm up.“I didn’t want to scare you.Okay, I’m going to sit down and talk some more.”

I nod and glance down at my wrists.

“Again, I’m sorry if I overstepped, but while you were passed out, I tended to your wounds.Well, the ones I could see because I didn’t take your clothes off.If you’re able to, and want to, I have some clean clothes and you can shower.Now, I do need to ask.Would you like me to do a full exam?I’m a retired ER doctor and can do a forensic exam right here.”

I shake my head while she points at a leather bag beside the bed and all of the equipment on the bedside table.

“So, no on the rape kit?”

The nod comes instant.I should.I know it would help if I press charges, but I’m not sure if he actually raped me.

It’s why I croak, “Drugged.”

“Fucker.I hope Grayer makes him suffer and at least cuts off his dick.Shit.He’d better cauterize the wound so the fucker doesn’t bleed out.So, I guess we have no use for the rape kit because he won’t be alive for long anyway.”

I rub my eyes and try to process what she says.

Ivy gives me a sheepish grin.“Sorry.I should go slow.Let’s start over.Your arms were bare so I took some blood and it’s already at the lab so we’ll get the results soon.You’re a doctor yourself, which makes it easier.I don’t have to explain everything, and yet you do have to answer some questions for the sake of technicalities and treatment.Are you up for it?”