Page 49 of The Duke's Only Desire

Well, she might as well leave her list of plans for Shay anyway, she decided, since she had no chance of them being carried out without his approval. So she stepped into the room and placed the paper on his desk. The sad truth, though, wasthat she had no idea when he’d be back, and if past were precedent, he probably wouldn’t return until long after sunset, long after she’d dined and went to her room for the night.

“I should tie a bell around his neck,” she muttered to herself, “like a cat, so I can hear him come and go.”

But she’d have to settle for a note to explain today’s meeting with Mr. Enfield.

She grimaced as she reached for the quill set on the desk, only to find it empty of paper. The notepaper must have been in one of the drawers, so she pulled each one open to search for it. The bottom drawer slid open, and she froze as she peered inside.

Notnotepaper.

It was a treasure trove of all the gifts she’d sent him during the years they’d communicated by letter. Since they married, he’d not mentioned them. Not once.

Yet here they all were, every insignificant little bit and bauble. He’d kept them, all these years. Her hand trembled as she reached to touch the little odds and ends, with her letters resting on the bottom of the drawer, all tied in stacks with ribbons. Her eyes stung as hot tears blurred her vision, but she knew exactly what the top piece was. The little metal bird she’d slipped into his pocket during their sleigh ride.

She picked it up and pressed it to her chest.

A tear slipped free. She brushed the back of her hand against her cheek to wipe it away, but she couldn’t stop more from following after. A knot of anguish filled her chest as a cold realization hit her…

He loved her, and this proved it.

But the joy she should have felt at that was nothing but bitter anguish. Because she also knew he would keep his feelings hidden away from her, just as he had hidden these gifts.

He would never let himself bring them out into the light of day.