Page 78 of A Remarkable Rogue

“Burlap,” he murmured appreciatively.

Her eyes fluttered open, and the raw emotion she saw in his hazel depths stole her breath away. “Bur—what?”

Chuckling, he captured her mouth beneath his in a hot, openmouthed kiss that left her breathless and aching. Instead of increasing in ferocity with desire, though, his kiss softened until it was affectionate and gentle yet just as intense as before.

She sighed at his tenderness. Having experienced the same man at his most fiercely passionate in her bed, she loved both contradictory sides of him, the hard façade of a soldier and the compassionate man beneath.

Breaking the kiss, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her against him so he could nuzzle his cheek against her hair. “I know.”

She smiled, happier than she’d been in years. Perhaps ever. “Know what?”

“That you love me.” He smiled against her hair. “And I’m pretty certain I love you, too.”

Her heart stopped. “Whatdid you say?”

Leaning back just far enough to look down at her, he grinned. “Are you really going to make me repeat it?”

Her mouth fell open as she stepped away to put enough distance between them so she could breathe again. “You…” How on earth—what he’d said—that he— “What?”

With a faint chuckle, he stroked his thumb against her cheek. “While you might not think that you can love me, I’m pretty certain you can. And do.”

Panic kicked up inside her, and she scowled. “Once again, you’ve missed your mark.” She crossed her arms over her chest in futile protection against the truth. “To think that I’m in love with you and that you—”

“I heard you say it last night as you were falling asleep. That you can’t love me, but you do.”

Oh God… “I was asleep—it was a dream! It meant nothing.”

“You’re beautiful, Baroness, even when you’re lying to yourself.” His gaze turned solemn. “Just as you’re still trying to convince yourself that you can’t be a good mother to Robbie. But I watched you today, and you love that boy.” He took a single step to close the distance between them. “It might take you a while to figure out the nuances of mothering, but it’s a natural part of you. You’re never going to be able to let him out of your life now that he’s in it.”

“It isn’t that simple.” Not with either of the two males now in her life.

“Yes, it is.” He gazed softly down at her, his expression somber, and he guessed, “You’re afraid to openly love anyone, aren’t you?”

“What an absurd notion.” To accuse her of not loving when she’d loved so deeply that she’d wanted to die… Oh, he was soverywrong! “I loved Michael and announced it to the world.”

“Yes, you did,” he challenged with a slightly provoking arch of a brow. “You loved him, and he died. You loved your parents, and they betrayed you. You loved your baby, and he was taken from you.” He faintly shook his head. “Now you’re afraid to love anyone else because you think they’ll be stripped away from you, too, and you’ll be left alone again.” He paused. “Including me.”

“You don’t know—”

“I’ve seen you with Robbie, yet you still refuse to admit that you want him with you.” He stepped forward and took her back into his arms, then lowered his head to caress his mouth along her jaw and murmured into her ear, “And I’ve seen you at your most bare and vulnerable, yet you still won’t share your heart with me.”

She closed her eyes against the anguished tremor that swept through her.

He had no idea of what she’d been through…the gut-wrenching grief over losing Michael and Robbie and those horrible days when she wanted to die herself. Her parents’ betrayal and abandonment. All the humiliation heaped upon her by Rowland and the terrible happiness she felt when he died. And now, the attraction she felt for Nate, so overwhelming and frightening that it shook her to her soul.

“Because it terrifies me.” Her chest constricted so sharply at the soft admission that she could barely breathe. “How couldyouhear what I said last night and not be just as frightened?”

“Because I care about you,” he answered simply. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can’t promise that.” Her tear-blurred eyes stung as she traced her fingers down his forearm and the wound beneath to make her point.

“Perhaps not. Perhaps some things are beyond our control.” Grief deepened his voice. “Perhaps that’s why we need to seize what happiness we can while we’re able to, and damn the tomorrows to come.”

If only it were that simple! “I can’t—” she choked out. “I can’t surrender control of my life. Not again.”

“I’m not asking for that.” He cupped her cheek against his palm. “I love you, Sydney. I only wish you’d let yourself say the same to me.”

The loving touch of his lips to hers as he lowered his head and kissed her sliced into her heart. It was too much to bear, and a tear rolled down her cheek.