Page 75 of A Relentless Rake

“What stopped me was that I thought you were innocent.” His shoulders dropped. “Then everything I thought I knew about you suddenly wasn’t true.”

“You know all the important things about me,” she whispered, hoarse with emotion. “The rest doesn’t matter.”

If only he could believe that. But he knew firsthand the suffering that deception could bring. “Tell me about your past,” he pressed gently. “About the man you ran away with…and why he’s not here with you.”

She bit her bottom lip, as if considering answering, but didn’t.

Her lack of trust gnawed at him. “I know I don’t deserve your confidence, that I certainly haven’t earned it.” The truth of that stung. “But I need to know.”

“Why?” The curious word lingered in the shadows between them.

For the first time tonight, she’d not spoken to him in anger or suspicion, and he took hope in that.

“Because I’ve made past mistakes myself and know the burden of living with secrets.” He paused, then admitted, “Because I am truly sorry that I have caused you any pain.”

Her expression softened, and she bit her bottom lip.

“Because I care about you,” he added quietly. He’d never uttered truer words in his life. “And I don’t want you to be hurt.”

A sad smile ruefully twisted her lips. “You’re seven years too late.”

When she turned away, he resisted the urge to grab her into his arms and kiss away the pain he’d seen on her face and the grief in her eyes. But if he did, the fragile trust they were slowly building would be destroyed.

He had to be patient and wait for her to come to him. Even if it killed him.

Putting the distance of the room between them, she began to pace. Restless, embarrassed, ashamed, uncertain… He could read every emotion flash across her face even in the shadows cast by the faint glow of the coals in the banked fire.

“There has only been one man, once—I was eighteen,” she began quietly, “and I loved him.”

He’d expected that, yet the stab of pain at her admission hurt so deeply that he lost his breath. “And he loved you.”

Her look of shame nearly undid him. “Not enough in the end.”

“Then he was a fool,” he murmured.

She spun to face him midpace and raised her chin. “Yes, he was.” But her show of resilience deflated like a balloon as her shoulders sank. “And so was I for eloping with him.”

She stepped past him to the fireplace, reached a shaking hand to grab the iron poker, and then bent down on her heels. With a stir of the coals, the small flames came back to life. She didn’t rise. Instead, she remained crouched into a small ball and let the poker fall to the floor in front of her. The firelight lit up her bleak expression as she stared into the flames, saying nothing.

Alec pulled in a deep breath. He was afraid of the answer even as he asked it, but he had to know— “Are you still in love with him?”

“No,” she answered into the fire. A bitter smile tightened her lips. “It’s amazing how well ruination and abandonment on her wedding day can purge love from a woman’s heart.”

“I should think so,” he murmured.Good God… “Tell me about him.”

“No.” The word was little more than a breath.

“Why not? As you said, it was seven years ago.”

She didn’t look at him. “Because I’m certain you know him.”

His heart froze, and in that moment’s stillness, he offered a silent prayer that it wasn’t one of the men of the Armory. “Who?”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she wordlessly picked up the poker and stirred listlessly once more at the fire. A jagged valley through the black coals glowed hellishly red.

He allowed himself a single step toward her. “You’re an amazing woman, Olivia,” he whispered. “So strong and fierce, so brilliant. But you’re keeping yourself from me, yourtrueself, and it’s killing me.”

She looked at him over her shoulder, and the glistening of tears in her eyes undid him.