Page 72 of How the Duke Saved Christmas

“She’s fine.” Clara placed her hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him back down against the pillows. “Doing far better than you, in fact. She’s been giving Miss Pritchard fits by trying to sneak down from the nursery to see you.”

He chuckled softly at that, then blew out a relieved breath and sank deeper into the pillows. “Thank God…”

“You saved her life,” Clara whispered.

“Yousaved her life,” he corrected and laced his fingers through hers. “You kept her above water until help could arrive. If she had slipped under, we would have lost her.” His eyes turned grim. “And you also saved me.”

She couldn’t reply at all to that; the terror of that moment on the ice formed a knot in her belly and choked at her throat. All she could do was hold his hand more tightly in hers.

“You were so brave.” This time, she knew the hoarse sound of his voice wasn’t from sleep.

She shook her head. “I never even thought about what I was doing,” she whispered. “I just crawled out onto the ice to save her. And then you came.”

“The children had come back to the house just as I’d arrived from the village. I’d decided to come after you at the pond myself instead of sending Thomas. I wanted to carry you in my arms back to the house and have an excuse to be in your room with you again.” He frowned at the sight of their joined hands, but she knew he was seeing her on the pond instead. “When I heard your cries, saw you lying on the ice…”

She countered, “When I sawyoujump into the water…”

Unable to finish that statement, she slid carefully from the chair and onto the edge of the bed next to him. She brushed her hand against his cheek and felt the stubble of morning beard against her fingertips, the soft skin beneath, and the warmth and strength that always radiated from him. When she leaned over to touch her lips to his, she prayed he couldn’t taste herworry for him in her kiss.

“You terrified me.” She buried her face against his neck so he couldn’t see her tears. “How would I be able to go on living if I’d lost you a second time?”

“You never lost me, love.” He placed a kiss to the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her to pull her down into the bed with him. “I’ve been right here the entire time.” His voice was still husky as he whispered, “You only needed to open your eyes to find me.”

Now that she had, she never wanted to let him go. As if to prove it, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. She’d come to realize so much about herself during her stay at Northbourne…not the least of which was how much she still loved him and always would. She’d learned to embrace the world again, to trust in herself, and to know that she was capable of so much more than she’d ever realized. Michael had proven that to her. So had the children.

Now, she had to prove it to herself.

“You asked me to marry you,” she whispered, placing a kiss to his cheek before she sat up and shifted out of his arms. She looked down at her ring and nervously twisted it on her finger. “I want nothing more than to say yes, that I want to be your wife and have the future together that we were meant to have.”

“I want that, too.”

She nodded sharply and pulled in a quick breath for courage. “But I need you to realize that our marriage will have limitations—that it won’t be the same wonderful dream we once thought it would be. I can’t never be the same woman I once was.”

“All I want is the woman you are now. Give me that, and you’ll make me the happiest man in the world.”

Clara swallowed down a sob. “But I want so much for you, so much that I can never give…”

When she broke off into silence, he asked gently, “Do you love me?”

So very much!Yet all she was able to force out was a rasping, “Yes.”

“Then you’ve already given me everything I need.”

He sat up in bed and pulled her into his arms to kiss her. In his embrace, she felt strength and determination. She wanted to surrender to the same confidence about their future that he felt. And yet…

She broke the kiss and lowered her face away.

He took her hand in his, brushed his thumb over her engagement ring, and frowned. “You’re still worried, though, aren’t you?”

She nodded.

His eyes sparkled as he tucked a stray curl of blonde hair behind her ear. “Then let’s negotiate the marriage settlement to make certain all those fears are alleviated.”

He was trying to reassure her, but his teasing didn’t work. “You can’t negotiate away these kinds of worries.”

“Trust me.” He placed a kiss to her forehead, then crawled slowly out of bed, his waking limbs still a bit wobbly from sleeping for so many hours. “If I can negotiate trade bills in Parliament, then I can certainly be persuaded into giving you everything you want in this settlement. And then some.” He paused to consider what he’d just said as he reached for his banyan that had been flung over the end of the four-poster bed. “Exactlylike Parliament, in fact.”

Smiling faintly, she turned on the bed to follow his movements around the room.