Page 37 of How the Duke Saved Christmas

Her heart, which had been hanging on by a thread, shattered into a thousand pieces. The words came so softly that they were barely more than whisper. “I’m not punishing you.”

“Yes, you are. Starting from the moment you refused to see me after the accident.” He paused. “From the moment you sent that note ending our engagement.”

Oh, he was wrong! That wasn’t punishment. That was mercy.I was setting you free…

“I loved you,” she confessed, “and I wanted nothing more than to marry you. I’d wanted that since the first time you waltzed with me at Lord Whitwell’s ball at the start of my first season, when I was still nothing to you but your best friend’s annoying little sister.”

“Then why?” He sat beside her and folded her hand in both of his. “Why did you break off with me?”

Her lips quivered as she tried to explain, “Because I couldn’t ignore all that had changed.”

“Nothing changed between us.” He lifted her hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss to her palm. “I still loved you and wanted to marry you.”

She shook her head against the desolation burning in her chest. “Everythingchanged, can’t you see that?” Pushing down her humiliation, she took his hand and lowered it toward her right thigh. “You wanted to touch me tonight, so touch me here.” Her voice shook nearly as much as she did. “Touch my leg, and then tell me that nothing changed.”

She held his gaze with hers as she slowly guided his hand along her outer thigh. The accident had taken a good portion of her muscle when the metal had sliced into her leg; the surgeons had claimed even more, and what was left had shriveled from disuse. It was nothing like he leg he’d once stroked during those wonderful summer picnics in the wildflower meadow, and she wanted him to realize that.Neededhim to realize that, no matter how much anguish this lesson brought her.

His fingers brushed over the scar that ran from knee to hip, its jagged ridge palpable even though the layers of clothing.

“Thishas changed since the last time you had your hand there, caressing me,” she choked out in a hoarse whisper. “I know you can feel the difference. And it’s changedme, far beyond this scar.”

As she moved his hand over her thigh, every touch of his fingertips was torture, as if the wound was still raw.Tell me I’m beautiful now… Lie to me…

“If you ever loved me, you’ll accept that I’m no longer the woman you wanted to marry. You’ll accept me for who I am.” She slid her hand away from his. “You’ll obey my wishes and stop.”

“Stop what?” He continued to brush his hand over her thigh, so tender and lovingly that every touch shot a jolt of pain straight down to her core. “Stop touching you? Stop kissing you?” He leaned in to bring his lips to hers and prevent any answer she might have given. “Because I’ll never stop loving you or trying to make you happy.”

She put her hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him away, and she summoned all the strength she possessed to whisper, “Stop…everything.”

CHAPTER TEN

Two Days Until Christmas

Michael stood in the stables’ large open door and watched the front of the house. Nervously, he adjusted his tall hat and rolled his shoulders beneath the warmth of his greatcoat as he waited. He’d been persuading Clara to come out of her room since her arrival, but he’d never dared take it this far before.

Around him, the wintry afternoon was still, the faint noises of birds in the bare branches of the trees and the movement of the horses in the stalls behind him muffled by the blanket of snow. The sun shined brilliantly across the uninterrupted stretch of white and gave a false sense of warmth, but the animals and staff knew well enough to remain inside. Even now his breath clouded the cold air, and although more snow had not fallen since the storm, the temperatures had remained low enough that none of it had melted.

But he couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful winter’s day for what he’d planned for this afternoon.

The front door opened, and Michael’s heart skipped. He didn’t dare breathe as he waited through the handful of seconds that stretched on for an eternity before two forms emerged from the darkness of the house and into the sunlight—Thomas, the footman, and, in his arms, Clara.

AfuriousClara, most likely, although he was too far away to see her expression as he watched Thomas make his way carefully down the steps and along the drive.

She was being spirited away against her will, and there would be hell to pay when she discovered Michael’s intentions. But it was for her own good, and if she simply let herself, he knew she would very much enjoy the outing.

“Desperate times,” he muttered to himself and tugged at his leather gloves as Clara and Thomas came closer, “require desperate actions.”

He’d put his plan in motion yesterday after she’d refused to leave her room for the second day in a row, not even to spend time with the children. It had required an exorbitant payment to the village saddler that had surely kept the man working all night, detailed instructions to both Cook and his head groom, careful coordination by Mrs. Hansen, and orders to Mrs. Bailey to dress Clara in her warmest clothes this afternoon.

Then, he’d given Thomas the most important instructions of all. Bring Clara down to the stables at exactly three o’clock. No matter how much she protested or threatened, the footman was to ignore her complaints and bring her here.

Michael frowned. Should he raise the man’s salary for combat pay?

But the lengths Michael was going to couldn’t be helped. Time was running out, and he hadn’t yet saved her from herself.

In fact, he’d only made things worse by kissing her in the sled, then doing far more than that in the conservatory. He’d let his own selfish wants cloud his judgment, and he hadn’t realized in the moment that he was pushing her too far, too fast.

But she’d wanted those kisses and touches. He saw so himself in her glowing eyes and flushed face, felt the racing of her pulse and the quickening of her breath, felt the way she’d wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. He hadn’t misinterpreted any of that. He had no idea what had stopped her from letting the embrace continue, but he knew without doubt that she still desired him.