Page 52 of After the Spy Seduces

“In a few days, you’ll have everything you want. You’ll be back home with Meri, going on with your lives as if none of this ever happened.”

Including without him. Because he would have no reason to continue to see her once Meri was safe, once her brother’s guilt was disproved, as she knew it would be. Already she felt the loss of him as palpably as the loss of his hands on her arms.

She turned to face him, tilting her head as she stared at him. Now that she knew the truth, she was learning to see through the mask he wore, to read him to the point that she could almost see the thoughts spinning through his head.

Almost. Because he still kept part of himself from her.

“And you, Christopher?” she pressed gently. “What doyouwant?”

His heart skipped.She didn’t mean that as an offer of intimacy, not when she was so distressed about her child that she shook with it, even now. Yet his gut reflexively tightened at the temptation she posed, at the answer a dark part of his heart wanted to give. Because he wanted so very much, more than he deserved—justice, a future…Diana.

Now, he could never have it.

“I know you want to arrest Garrett,” she said quietly, misunderstanding his hesitation.

“That’s where you’re wrong. I don’t want to arrest him. I wish to God that I didn’t have to, that he hasn’t done the things he has.” How much he wished that! She had no idea.

“Then save yourself the trouble and don’t arrest him.”

He curled his lips into a patient smile. “I can’t do that.”Not even for you.

She stepped closer, making the suddenly small room as tiny as a doll’s house. “Because you’re dedicated to England.”

“Yes.”And to Fitch. At the cost of all else. Including his life.

She lifted her chin in faint challenge. “Will you accept it when Garrett’s proven innocent?”

“Will you accept it when he’s proven guilty?”

“No, because he won’t be.”

He bit back a frustrated laugh. “You’re awfully certain of your brother’s innocence.”

“I’m certain of the character of all the men I care about.”

A hollow pang corkscrewed itself deep into his gut, because he knew she didn’t include him in that group. But God help him, he wanted her to.

When she moved to step away, he stopped her with a gentle touch to her elbow.

“Now that we’re here in Bradwell,” he warned, “you’ll have to do exactly as I say at every step. Understand?”

The little minx had the audacity to appear offended. “When have I ever not?”

Knowing better than to answer truthfully, he said instead, “You can trust me with your life.” He prayed to God that she did. Now that he’d come to the end of the fight, what Diana thought of him mattered. A great deal. He took her hand and lifted it to his lips, to place a kiss to her palm. “Forget everything you’ve heard about me. Trust only what you’ve seen with your own eyes and know with your heart to be true.”

She nodded. Only a small, jerking movement. But relief rumbled through him. Unable to resist bringing them both a moment’s solace, he leaned down to kiss her.

“So not a vicar, then?”

He stopped, his mouth only a hairsbreadth from hers. “Alas, no.”

“Pity. I should have enjoyed listening to you deliver a sermon on the merits of chastity.” Despite the grim worry that exuded from her, a lightness teased in her voice. She was desperately trying for normalcy when her world had been tilted on its axis, and his heart ached for her. “It would have been greatly amusing.”

“And short.”

When a faint smile pulled at her lips through her worry, he knew then that everything would be all right. That she possessed the strength and determination needed to rescue her daughter and thrive, long after he was gone.

She stood so close now that he could feel the heat of her along his front, could smell the lavender scent that surrounded her like a cloud. “No one truly believes that you want to become a vicar, you know. So why do you tell everyone you do?”