Page 49 of After the Spy Seduces

“From the moment Meri was born,” she continued in a soft whisper against his shoulder, needing to exorcise the desolation inside her by telling him everything, “we referred to her as my sister, with my mother and the general as her mama and papa, Garrett as her brother. We’ve never told anyone the truth.”

“Until now,” he murmured, nuzzling his cheek against her hair. The enormity of the trust she and the general were placing in him made him tremble. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“And yours with me.” She slipped her arms around his waist and rose up onto her tiptoes to touch her lips to his. In that kiss, she softly sought absolution and understanding. When she lowered away from him, her expression was one of pure vulnerability. And unqualified trust. “The general and I will leave for Bradwell in the morning, but I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you’re helping us.”

Not nearly enough.

Guilt gnawed at his gut. He could do more. He could take the diary to Bradwell himself. In the end, the French wouldn’t give a damn how they received the diary as long as they got it, Meri would be released, and Diana would be safe.

Yet if he did that, if he handed secrets over to the French, his life would be over. Whitehall wouldn’t give a damn that he’d done it to save a little girl’s life. They would view what he did as a double-cross and declare him a rogue agent. He would be dead before Diana returned to her daughter.

But if he didn’t go with her, if he let Diana and her father walk into danger with Meri’s life hanging in the balance…For God’s sake!A society miss and an old man, being sent to face down the French—

“I’ll deliver it,” he rasped out.

Surprise flared in her eyes, but so did relief. The sight ripped into his heart. Because she trusted him, because she wanted him there with her.

Because he knew then that he would give his life to protect her and her daughter.

“The French will accept the diary from me. They want it badly enough to risk kidnapping a little girl right from her home. They won’t care how they get it as long as they do.” He paused, saying so quietly that he suspected she might not hear him, “Even if it means I’m the one who gives it to them.”

“Enough people I care about are in danger. I won’t put you at risk, too.” She punctuated that soft admission of affection with a tender touch to his cheek.

He kept his face carefully inscrutable as the darkness that had been chasing him for months finally consumed him.

He steeled himself as he made his decision. He placed his lips to her forehead, squeezed his eyes shut, and lied, “I’ll be perfectly fine.”

Chapter 15

The mail coach stopped with a rocking jerk in front of the posting inn. “Bradwell-on-Sea!”

Diana heaved out a long breath.Thank God. After full two days of traveling, including moving through the night to avoid the risks that might come of stopping at an inn, she’d finally arrived just as the sun was sinking behind the horizon. And not a moment too soon. If she were left alone with her thoughts and fears for a minute longer, she might very well go mad.

She’d had nothing to do since leaving Idlewild but stare out the window and try to let the passing scenery distract her. Once darkness fell, she couldn’t even do that because it was impossible to see beyond the glass. All she could do was count the passing miles and worry about Meri.

Thinking about Christopher didn’t help.Thatman could drive her to distraction, certainly, but thoughts of who he truly was only worked to make her uneasy.

How had she been so wrong about him? How had he managed to hide a secret life from the world, in which he wasn’t at all the scoundrel second son she’d thought him to be but a man dedicated to Crown and country, a government operative who commanded the respect of men like her father? A colonel, for heaven’s sake! She could barely fathom it. Only now, after almost two days of churning it over and over in her head was she able to begin to reconcile the two men.

But the outcome was so much worse than before, when he was merely a scapegrace. Because now she knew him to be dependable, successful, even admirable. Because now he knew the truth about Meri and neither condemned her nor pitied her for it, instead insisting on helping her bring her daughter safely home. Because now she had no good reason to keep him at arm’s length.

But she also had no possible future with him.

One of the coachmen flung open the door as he hurried past on his way to help unload the trunks and bags. As Diana left the compartment, pins and needles shot up her leg, which had been asleep from the last hour’s cramped ride, and it buckled beneath her. She lost her balance and stumbled forward.

Strong arms caught her. They lifted her into the air and swung her in a circle before lowering her lightly to the ground. The front of her body brushed down the hard planes of a man’s chest, the accidental contact electrifying. She knew even without seeing the face hidden beneath the brim of the beaver hat—

“Christopher,” she whispered.

In the deepening shadows of the sunset, he grinned at her. “Throwing yourself into my arms already?” He tsked his tongue disapprovingly. “Please, darling, control yourself.”

Her mouth fell open in shock. Then it snapped closed. Oh, that arrogant—

“Normally, I’m all for holding you in my arms.” Although he teased, and most likely only to distract her from her worries about Meri, a darker preoccupation colored his voice. “But watch yourself, will you? I already have one Morgan miss to worry about. I don’t need a second.”

Before she could give him the set-down he deserved, he snatched up her bag, took her arm, and led her away, out of the coaching yard and down the plank footpath lining the street. Night was falling quickly, and lamps were being lit across the little port village. Yet lots of people still strolled through the streets, and they weaved their way through them down High Street in the direction of the docks.

“Have you been here long?” she asked quietly, careful not to be overheard by anyone.