Page 75 of How the Earl Entices

She turned around to face him then, and the grim set of his face nearly undid her. Even in the dark shadows of the room, lit only by a slant of moonlight, she could see visible signs of his unease in the stiff tension in his shoulders, in the lift of his chin as he stared silently at her. Less than a foot separated them, but he felt a world away.

“That fire changed everything, you see,” she whispered, desperate to make him understand. “Susan Montague died that night, and Grace Alden rose from the ashes. I took my new identity and bought a coach ticket for as far away as I could travel.”

“To Sea Haven,” he murmured.

“Not at first. I didn’t trust that Vincent hadn’t discovered what I’d done, and why. That he wasn’t still coming after me. So I kept moving, never staying in one place for more than a few weeks. By the time I arrived in Sea Haven, I was nearly ready for my confinement and out of options. I had planned to make my way to the coast and then somehow find a ship that would take me away from England. But Ethan had other plans for us.” She smiled wistfully and placed her hand over her lower belly. She could almost feel the babe that she’d once carried there. “Alice Walters saved our lives. She helped deliver him, then took us in when we had no place else to go.”

“So you stayed and pretended to be a fisherman’s widow.”

“I had to protect my baby.” Her chest tightened with that same dread that had hovered over her like a specter for the past decade, until it had become a part of her. Only during this time with Ross had it not haunted her, had she been able to shake off the oppressive fear. But his disbelieving expression made her hope sink. “I know what you’re thinking—you, who’s never backed down from a fight in his life, who is even now running toward danger rather than away from it.” Anger at the weak woman she’d been filled her chest. “You think I was a coward to run and hide like that instead of fighting.”

“I don’t think that.” Yet he made no move to touch her or take her into his arms to give her reassurance.

“Ido.” She blinked hard against the stinging tears as that old feeling of helplessness resurfaced. “I was a different woman then.”From a different lifetime. She feared he might never understand the choices she’d made. “But I refuse to hide any longer.”

Losing his battle to keep his distance, his arms went around her and pulled her against him. He buried his face in her hair. “You were eighteen, for God’s sake, with no money and no relatives to take you in. What else could you have done?”

She choked down a sob as she slipped her arms around him and rested her cheek against his hard chest.

“But you were safe in Sea Haven,” he murmured against her temple. “You two could have lived out your days there completely unnoticed. Why return to London now?”

“Vincent’s second wife is expecting,” she whispered. “His first wife was barren, so I thought I had time to claim Ethan’s inheritance. But Cora died, Vincent remarried…”

And she’d run out of time.

The Committee on Privileges would never remove a sitting lord with a legitimate heir in favor of an heir whose legitimacy was suspect. If her son was to have the life that he deserved—the life that David would have wanted for him—then she had to act now.

From the way Ross tensed in her arms, he realized that, too.

He shifted away from her just far enough to cup her scarred cheek against his palm. “It’s going to be an uphill battle, you realize that.” His fingers soothingly stroked her cheek. “They most likely won’t even agree to hear your petition.”

“I know.” She placed her hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat through his shirt, strong and steady. “But I have to try. Ethan deserves the life that his father wanted for him.” Then she paused before admitting, “I can’t do this without you, and I don’t mean the influence of the Spalding title. I meanyou,Ross.”

His face softened at her words, even as he warned, “You’ll be exposing Ethan.”

“I’ll keep him safe.” Just as she always had.

“You’ll also be exposing yourself.” He gravely traced his fingertip over her scar to make his point. “Are you ready for that?”

“As long as you’re with me.”

His hand stilled for a moment against her cheek. Only a moment’s hesitation, but she felt it.

Her stomach plummeted with a flash of worry. “Have you changed your mind, now that you know the full truth?”

She’d understand if he had, but dear God, what would she do without him? Not to have his support, not to have his strength to lean upon during the fight to come or his determination and resilience to see her through to the end—unbearable.

Not answering, he asked quietly instead, “Why did you give yourself to me tonight?”

The question pierced her.

“You said before that it would put Ethan at risk.” He searched her face in the shadows. “What changed?”

“When you took so long to return tonight, when I didn’t know if you were safe or captured—”Dead or alive. She pushed the horrible thought from her mind. “I realized then how much you matter to me.”

Needing to touch him, she curled her fingers into the hard muscle of his chest. If only she could lay claim to his heart so easily.

“That’s why I made love to you tonight. It was selfish and risky.” For the first time in a decade she’d put her own needs before her son’s, and the enormity of that made her tremble. “But I couldn’t deny myself the opportunity to finally be that close to you. To take what might be our only chance to have that.”