Page 37 of A Match Made in Heather

Every inch of her burned with pain, and every beat of her heart hurt so much that she winced from it. He’d wanted revenge, he’d been clear about that from the beginning. But this . . . could Jamieson be right? Even if only part of it were true, how could she ever trust him again? How could she—

“Arabel.”

Garrick.When she saw him, a blinding pain shot through her.

He was waiting in the hallway for her, as he did every night, so certain was he that she’d not refuse him. Jamieson was wrong about that much at least. Garrick hadn’t needed to seduce her to get his revenge, because she’d gone willingly into his arms.

He frowned as came slowly toward her. “Are you all right?”

“I don’t know,” she said softly, unable to sort through the confusion and doubt swirling inside her. If he’d given up his revenge as she’d assumed, if he wanted the same future together that she did, the future he had never spoken about . . . “If I asked you to give me Castle Highburn right now, would you?”

He stiffened, his back straightening. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Please answer,” she pressed, needing to know and desperately clinging to the love she hoped he carried for her.

“Have you broken off your engagement to Murray?” he asked instead.

The simple question pierced her. She stared at him, unable to do anything but return his gaze, thankful that the shadows hid the glistening of angry and hurt tears in her eyes. Her chest squeezed so hard that she could barely breathe.

Ownership of Highburn predicated upon breaking off her engagement, just as Jamieson claimed. Was this his revenge now, to dangle the estate in front of her like some shiny bauble, only to snatch it away once she’d done his bidding? The memory flooded back of their first night together, how he’d pressed her to call off the engagement even then.

Her eyes stung with humiliation. When the accusation came, her voice was barely a whisper, “You used me . . .”

His head snapped back, stunned. Then his eyes narrowed. “I didn’t use—”

“I know what you told Reeves,” she continued. Now that she’d breached the topic, the words spilled out of her in an uncontrolled flood. “How determined you were to get revenge against my family. How you wanted to raze Highburn to the ground.” She shook her head, giving herself time to blink away the tears before they fell. “Don’t play me for a fool by denying it.”

“Yes, I said those things,” he reluctantly admitted. When he took a step toward her, she stepped back, unable to bear his nearness now, when only a few minutes ago she’d craved it. “I was still angry at you and your family then, and surprised as hell to have to split ownership with you.” He forced out a deep breath and raked his fingers through his hair. “But I didn’t mean them like that, and you bloody well know it.”

“And when you said that seducing me would be the perfect revenge?” His face blurred beneath hot tears as she choked out, “What did you mean bythat?”

His expression turned as dark as the shadows around them. “That wasn’t it at all.”

She shook her head, fearing that it wasexactlythat. “I understand why you wanted me in your bed.” She lifted her chin, every fiery ounce of pride inside her surging to the surface and somehow keeping her from collapsing to the floor in uncontrolled sobs. “But you didn’t have to lie and tell me that you loved me.”

“Damnation, Arabel,” he growled out. “Idolove you!”

When he reached for her, she moved away. Her stomach knotted with torment. Only an hour ago she would have been overjoyed to hear him declare so vehemently that he loved her . . .

“But not enough to let go of the past,” she whispered.

Garrick said nothing, his jaw clenched hard. In that moment of silence, she had her answer, and it ripped through her, slicing into her heart so viciously that she gasped. She couldn’t breathe, as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the house. She stared at him as the world pitched beneath her feet, and each gasping breath she drew felt like flames searing her lungs.

He moved slowly toward her, closing the distance between them until he stood so close that she felt the anger radiating from him, a fury born of resentment and bitterness. His flashing green eyes held hers and refused to let her look away.

“For ten years, I believed that I’d lost you, and I didn’t give a damn what happened to me except that staying alive meant that I might find a way to make your family pay for what they’d done to me. Tous,” he explained giving her no quarter from the venom he carried for her family. “So I fought to stay alive, day after day, doing whatever I had to in order to survive—stealing, cheating, taking any job I could get no matter how grueling. And when I went into the army, I did the same thing. One day at a time.”

Guilt and recrimination burned inside her for what her family had done to him. But they needed to purge the past from their lives if they were to ever have a future. “Garrick, please—”

“Ten yearsof revenge and hatred shaping me—that’sthe man who returned here to claim Highburn.” He sucked in a shuddering breath to tamp down his anger even as his hands still clenched into fists at his sides. “Not once did I give this place another thought except for how much I hated your family for what they’d done.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head. All his words formed a cacophony of confusion with what she knew of her family, what she’d heard Jamieson say, what she thought she knew about Garrick. The tempest of it overwhelmed her, and she couldn’t find her way through the turmoil.

“So, yes. I came here wanting revenge, and I said those things . . . about the family I despised and the woman who couldn’t find the courage inside herself to stand up to them.” He captured her face between his hands and rested his forehead against hers. A grimace twisted his face, as if touching her now pained him. “But then you were back in my arms, as if in a dream.” He shifted away to look down into her eyes. His warm breath tickled her lips, branding her with each word that emerged as black as the shadows around them. “I love you, Arabel. I want nothing more than to make you happy. But I cannot forget what your family did to us, nor can I ever forgive.”

She covered his hands with hers, her fingers trembling. “I don’t know why they did that, or if they even knew what hell they’d thrown you into,” she whispered. “But you need to let the past die. Youhaveto forgive them, or you’ll never have my full love.”

He straightened his spine, his jaw clenching as he drawled, “Is that an ultimatum?”