Page 71 of Along Came a Rogue

At that, Emily averted her eyes. What a ninny she was! How silly to think she could fool Kate into believing she was happy when inside she was miserable.

Kate hesitated, then lowered her voice. “It’s Major Grey, isn’t it?”

Her tear-blurred eyes flew up to Kate’s as her heart skipped painfully. “What do you know about Grey?”

“Edward and Thomas talk,” she explained gently. “Don’t let them fool you—those men are as bad as gossipy old hens when they get together.” As Emily’s eyes grew wide with mortification, Kate squeezed her hand reassuringly. “They’re only worried about you, and about Grey. I don’t know everything, and it’s truly none of my business, but…well, apparently, the man’s tied himself into knots over you. Edward claims he’s never seen Grey so worked up over a woman before.” Her eyes softened sympathetically. “And I don’t think he’s the only one who’s suffering.”

Emily stared down at her hands as a single tear slid down her cheek.

“Oh, Emily.” Her face dark with sympathy, Kate pulled a handkerchief from her reticule and placed it into her hand. “If this is making you so miserable, why did you refuse him?”

She dabbed at her eyes with the handkerchief and launched into the same practiced speech she’d given to Thomas. “Because I’m only now finding my way back into society, and if I married him, I would be cut. I don’t want that, not for me nor my child, especially since he’s going to be born a marquess. Life will be hard enough for him. He doesn’t need any more problems haunting him.”

With an excited thrill lighting her eyes, Kate beamed at her and glanced down at her belly. “You think it’s going to be a boy, then?”

“I know so.” Emily blew out a long-suffering sigh as the baby moved and a sharp kick punched into her ribs. Only a man could cause her this much trouble while yet to be born.

“Grey would never do anything to hurt you, Emily, you know that. He’ll protect your child—”

“I know,” she whispered, once more glancing away. Lying to Kate was as unbearable as lying to Grey and Thomas. “But I have Thomas now. I don’t need his protection any longer.”

“Maybe it’s not only protection. Maybe…Grey loves you.”

Emily shook her head as her chest ached with fresh anguish. Grey wanted to marry her because he wanted to protect her, because of his friendship with Thomas, because of the intimacies they’d shared on the journey…A dozen reasons, except love.

“You need to speak to him, Emily,” Kate urged. “Give him another chance.”

But what was there to say? She knew the desolation and suffering that came when the man she wanted to love her only ended up resenting her, and she would never go through that again. Of course, Grey would claim he’d never do that. He might even believe himself that he’d be able to give up his work…but she knew the truth. What kind of future could they possibly have once he realized how much he missed the excitement of his bachelor life?

“No,” she said firmly, wiping away the last of her tears. “I refused him. I won’t change my mind.”

Kate shook her head. “You two cannot go on like this. It’s not good for him, and it’s certainly not good for you or the baby.”

“That’s why I told him to leave for Spain, to go on with his plans.” But the frustrating man had refused to budge, devil take him! And as long as he lingered in London, he kept the wounds to her heart fresh and raw. Because she still loved him. And always would.

Kate squeezed her hand. “Let me ask Edward to intercede with Grey—”

“No, please!” Kate was trying to help, and Emily loved her for it, but her involvement would only make things worse. “If Grey thought you were meddling— No, Kate, I won’t put you into the middle of this.”

“All right, I won’t meddle,” Kate promised reluctantly, although when she bit her lip, Emily would have sworn she looked…guilty. “However, I won’t let you stay all miserable like this, either. Come shopping with me this afternoon,” she implored with exaggerated enthusiasm that Emily knew was only for her sake. “An excursion outside will do us both good. Let’s go to Bond Street and buy a new bonnet or two. Or six!”

Emily hesitated. “I don’t think—”

“Please. Why waste a perfectly lovely afternoon by staying cooped up inside?” Kate squeezed her hands, concern falling over her face. “For me?”

With a sigh, Emily agreed.

An hour later, the two women walked arm in arm along Bond Street, gazing through the shop windows at the displays and taking in all the sights and sounds of the busy street. Emily had to admit that this was a wonderful idea. Certainly the walk was good for her legs, even if she managed less of a walk than a waddle, and the air and sunshine lifted her spirits.

In her two years away, she’d forgotten how much fun it could be to simply meander along the street and peek into shop windows to see all the new fabrics and fashions, the display of shoes and boots at the cobbler’s shop, even the rows of jars at the tobacconist. And none of what was shown in the windows could compare to the sight of the dandies strolling in their finery, the flamboyant colors and patterns of their waistcoats, and the arrogance with which they sneered at the world through their monocles.

She suppressed a giggle. Thank God Grey wasn’t one of those!

“Oh, look at that!” Kate pointed to a bonnet displayed in the window of a milliner’s shop and drew Emily’s attention. Bright red and orange ostrich feathers streamed into the air like poufs of flames over the bonnet’s purple brim, decorated with yellow spangles. “Isn’t it interesting?”

“Very.” She slid a sly glance sideways at her dear friend. “But I know you, Kate Westover, and you couldn’t care a fig about hats.”

Kate flashed her a brilliant smile and linked her arm through hers, then started them slowly down the street again. “True,” she conceded, “but a bonnet like that—that’s not just a hat. That’s a force of nature!”