Page 32 of Once a Scoundrel

Then she did sneak a glance at him, only to see his jaw clenched so tightly that the muscles in his neck jumped. Apparently, he hadn’t thought of that loophole in his plan.

“I’m a peer and a soldier,” he countered. “I take responsibility for my actions.”

Thatanswer had Papa’s eyes gleaming with respect. Drat him!

“I will not marry you,” she repeated. She looked pleadingly at her mother. “You always said that you wanted your children to find love matches, one as wonderful as what you share with Papa. Stephen and I...”Do not love each other. But she couldn’t bear to utter that aloud. Her eyes stung with unshed tears as they moved to her father, whose solemn gaze nearly undid her. “It was a kiss, Papa, that was all.” Her words were barely above a quiet whisper. “Would you truly force me to marry because of a kiss?”

When her father’s gaze met hers, she caught her breath. What she saw pass over his face wasn’t anger at being defied but deep disappointment, and the look sliced into her heart. It was a wound she knew might never heal, for both of them.

“Faith,” her mother said delicately, her face filled with concern, “if anyone learns of what is between you two—”

“Nothing is between us.” Therewasnothing except friendship, and even that she wasn’t so sure of any longer. Because he certainly hadn’t stirred feelings of friendship inside her when he’d kissed her. She lifted her chin resolutely and charged ahead, “I willnotmarry a man who wants to wed me only because it’s expected.”

Stephen’s gaze darted to her, the depths of his eyes afire. “That isnotwhy I want to marry you.”

“Isn’t it?” she challenged softly. “You returned to England set on starting a new life, on showing everyone that you’ve changed. On being respectable.”

“Yes, I did.” Firm resolve satiated his answer.

“So you’ll do whatever it takes to prove that.” Her heart pounded so hard that each beat reverberated like the strike of a hammer on iron. “Including doing exactly what’s been expected of you all along, no matter how much it grates.”

“Is that what you think, that the idea of marrying yougratesme?” A smile of relief pulled at his lips. “I can assure you that you are not—”

“And when you’ve grow tired of the expected, when you feel—” She choked on the word, the same word he’d used to describe what he once thought of marriage to her, “Trapped?”

His smile instantly vanished. “I won’t. I’ve explained to you—” He cut himself off, as if suddenly remembering that the duke and duchess were in the room. “You still think the worst of me.” He shook his head in disbelief. “What can I say to convince you, Faith?”

As she looked at him, her heart broke, because she knew the truth. That she had ached too fiercely for too long for him, that she’d spent too many nights crying over him and too many hours wondering what was wrong with her that he didn’t stay. She wanted to believe that he’d changed with all her heart and soul, but what proof did she have? She had only his word, and in the past, his word had proved to be nothing but empty flattery.

Misery gripped her as she whispered, “You can’t.”

He took a step toward her before stopping himself, his hands clenching at his sides to keep from reaching for her. “You still blame me for leaving, even now?”

“No,” she breathed, unable to find her voice as she admitted the truth. Tears burned in her eyes, and blinking rapidly, she turned her face away, whispering, “But I don’t know how to make you love me, either.”

His face fell. He started toward her. “Faith, please—”

“Dunwich.” Her father’s deep voice stopped him in mid-step. “My daughter does not want to marry you, and I will not force her to. As she said, no one else is aware of what happened between you two this evening, and we will keep it that way.” He slid an inscrutable glance at Faith, and her throat tightened with both anguish and relief. “So I think it would be best if you leave in the morning.” He paused, his gaze swinging back to Stephen. His voice was ice as he ordered, “And do not come back here nor attempt to contact her again.”

The two men stared at each other like adversaries, the tension between them so thick that the room pulsed with it, like a crackling electricity. Faith had never seen anyone stand up to her father like this before, and uneasiness spun through her, twisting her belly into knots. The two men she loved most in the world, now at odds because of her...She didn’t dare utter a word, not without breaking down completely in desolate sobs.

“Very well.” Stephen drew himself up straight, his shoulders stiff and commanding, even though he’d lost this battle. “I have business in London. Let that be my excuse to the other guests for why I’ve left the party early. I’ll be off after I say goodbye to my parents.”

“Of course,” Papa agreed quietly.

Stephen bowed to her mother and nodded to her father, then paused as he passed Faith on his way toward the door. “I’ll leave tomorrow as asked because I don’t want to cause problems between our families,” he told her. “But Iwillbe back for you, Faith. And I will marry you. Count on it.”

He caught her gaze and held it while he bowed to her, a silent promise held in those blue depths. Then he strode from the room.

For several long moments, neither Faith nor her parents moved, and despite Stephen’s departure, the tension remained. As thick as fog and made worse with each silent second that ticked past.

Faith lowered her tear-blurred gaze back to the rug while her heart pounded a painful beat in her chest. She was right to refuse him, she knew it. So why was the pain so unbearable?

“Do you love him, dear?” her mother asked gently, breaking the deafening silence.

“Yes,” she admitted in a choking breath, the single word tearing from her.

“Then why don’t you want to marry him?” Papa demanded, exasperation heavy in his voice.