Page 49 of Beyond Redemption

His jaw flexed. “There’s always another way,” Travis said, his tone low and menacing. I’d heard it before but never directed at me.

We stood there, neither of us backing down, breathing hard, adrenaline doing what it always did in men like us. I could feel the moment teetering. One wrong word, one wrong step, and fists would fly.

“I hate you for making me hate you,” Trenton said from the corner. “I don’t know how not to.”

“I know,” I said. It hurt more than I thought it would, even after years of accepting the outcome.

He pointed at me, held back by Tyler. “And don’t ask me to make peace with this; it’s never gonna fucking happen. You’re dead to me, Tommy!”

After a few moments of silence, I gave him what he asked for. “I won’t.”

“You’re making it worse,” Ellison said. “You accepting it so easily, being hated and shunned by your family, is just making it worse.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what else to do, Ellie. I knew this was coming. I accepted it the day I made the call. I don’t blame any of you for feeling the way you do. If the situation were reversed,and it was Stella, or any of my nieces or nephews, I’d feel the same.”

Falyn looked over her shoulder at Trenton, and then back to meet my gaze. “If you’d one day gotten rid of the Carlisis and the Yakuza and she was safe… would you have told us then?”

“I would’ve left that up to Olive,” I said.

“And she would’ve known that it would destroy the family,” Taylor said. “So, she wouldn’t have.”

“I would’ve made it clear that shouldn’t be a consideration,” I said.

Taylor shook his head, disgusted with my technical answer. “I feel like I don’t even know you.”

“Maybe not. And maybe it’s better that way.”

“Oh, boo fuckin’ hoo, dude,” Travis scoffed. “You haven’t even apologized. Okay, you feel you’ve kept her alive, but you’re not even sorry for what you put everyone through?”

“For that, I am sorry. Of course I am. And I’ve been sorry,” I said. “But there was no other way.”

“You’ve mentioned that,” Falyn said, staring at nothing in front of her. “And I still don’t believe you.”

“Fair enough,” I said.

Falyn’s bottom lip trembled, and her head fell forward, her hand covering her eyes.

Taylor stood up, but Travis grabbed him as Falyn moved to stand between us. Tyler ran across the room for backup.

Don’t!

Sit down!

Taylor, stop!

They’ll make us leave without Olive!

Naomi straightened from the wall.“Ahem,” she coughed, the sound carrying. She planted her heels, hands at her sides, weight balanced, ready for anyone who tried.

Taylor paused, huffing, then slowly lowered himself to the sofa. After several beats, he looked up at me from under his brow, an expression I’d seen him make on the playground, in The Circle, or in a bar fight. The look he gave an opponent, a stranger, someone he wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire. “After this, I never wanna see you again. You’re not family, you’re not my brother, you don’t exist.”

Chapter Nine

Liis

By the time we circled back to the Longhouse, Olive seemed lighter.

She walked between Bodhi and me, shoulders drawn in, fingers twisting the hem of her sleeve, still processing more than she could reasonably sort through in a quarter mile and back of well-lit walkways and dirt road. She turned to smile, brushing Stella’s chubby fingers where they poked from the sleeve of her zip-up hoodie. Stella had grown fussy and would be ready for bed soon, but she snuggled against my chest during the walk, her weight familiar. I’d learned quickly that emotional overload and physical exhaustion often looked the same.